Paul Testing Out Blog

hmm..! felt like things had turn back; my mood now is return to the time that nothing had happened yet.

2012-02-02T05:47:00.000-08:00

Thursday, February 2, 2012

felt like the time had be reverse and repeat everything all over again. things had been clarified so clearly, i have to learn to let it go and become back to the aimless guy which i used to be haha^^

now i realize my heart desire really burning insanely. i want a MOTOR BIKE in all midst. im in love with MOTOR BIKE because she's hot, she's wild, she scream out with a powerful sound, she's can make me goes insane over her. even there's risk i know but it doesn't really matter.

she can cost me my life, she can turn me into an accident; but i still love her and want to get her with me.

with a motor bike i can just live without any one being my wife or my girl friend, i don;t need a children even. because that motor bike can substitude all those temporary things.

that girl in the street do change her mine and take back her word, but a motor bike will not dunk me.

a motor bike can company me to work, to school and even to army.

now i had a change of target. atleast i glad i didn't force her or hurt her and give her what i promised. complete the task now my aim gonna go to something else.

gonna GYM myself up and get my self a motor bike which i will love. if not VESPA then PHANTOM.

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hmm..! im constantly angry for 2 day. trying to solve those shit. but new shit coming in!

2012-01-27T07:04:00.001-08:00

Friday, January 27, 2012

sometime i will glance back at the previous drawing i drawn:

here is where i stop by for some time then carry on the story:

sorry for those days, my sketch was real terrible. those period of time was years...! back where i face through a similar problem. short of a disappointment, where i got so impatient.

by the way that part is where that Pirate guy killed POSEIDON the God of the sea; to obtain the power of sea God.

there's Sea king around, that's why its important to have the Sea God power to protect from the sea king.

its kind of random.

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short of a formal Lg with 3 people. Tobias, Jamie and me, something come to my mine we gonna be astray.

as i said im a wonderer, belong to no where. i can't believe i got forgotten away, should be forgotten away completely rather then forgotten half way.

really piss me off i felt burned up nerve, just so gonna get a punching bag and kick the shit out of it. my Bro is true, he said don't put so much effort trying to help your fellow ITE group people la. end of the day you will realize you just got forgotten away. he said he went through those shit before during his DI time.

u shouldn't be too nice to them, u so gonna teach them something. clear all their name off the SUPERSHOW 4 list and say you forget. think about it i wasn't that bad to do such a thing.

i was so fedup trying not to think about it; head down to Gym to throw my angle on the weight.

im on my own now. who else with me? i don't think my shepherd is with me too.

think about the SUPERSHOW 4; it gonna be a 7 days of misery. tiring day week to pass. on the 14 of FEBUARY it gonna clash with my dental appointment; which is really bad.

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day before my bday.

2012-01-24T08:06:00.001-08:00

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

nothing to post about. screw that!

1 more day to my Birthday. predictable shitty 1 it gonna be.

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reunion dinner good reason to be away.

2012-01-21T11:00:00.001-08:00

Saturday, January 21, 2012

hmm! time fly's now its close to the 2nd month of 2012. CHINESE NEW YEAR for 2012 is about to over soon; just like a blink of eye.

reunion dinner; thats isn't any good reunion dinner. had our relatively gathering for dinner at my dad place area at AMK, the dinner was terribly tasteless.

im sure everyone will regret. took photo with my sis and little cousin clarice:

think about it she had grow up alot. last time remember those days where im staying at BISHAN, every week she will be send over to my place for somebody to take care of her. so im once her baby sitter.

i really got no ideal how to baby sit, taught her how to draw and some simple math and ABC.

last time she a quiet kid and very focus. now time goes by she like a wild animal running around making noise; how cute of her to be like that.

treat her as my little sister and her brother alex. one thing bad here is i dislike their parent, i hated her mom and dad. now the 2 of them still need their parent; when time pass their independent i wish i can hunt their parent down 1 by 1 for abandoning my grandmother and cheated my father in business. their the 1 who caused my family to be so screwed up.

they turn my life to be so miserable, i won't be able to let them go so easily, i take their child as sibling no matter what.

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made a design my my mac book pro cover:

made this using photoshop.

now is new year season, i decided to clean up my lap top by wiping all the dust and dirt of. washed my laptop protector casing.

paste this inside.

the apple isn't proportionate to align with my macbook apple bulb.

never mind gonna make 1 more soon, change of design soon. this is just a try out, gonna make a tribal 1 soon.

made some landscape edit, today im so lazy to draw. so instead i use photoshop to make a picture out to represent my drawing:

The abandon hero.

through the war, REVAN was fighting through with all his fellow soldier in a battle field. with mass destruction blowing and storming up the ground.

through the smoky and fogged field he dash across, with his fellow buddy. some of his buddy got shot down, he see blood shattered on the ground of the battle field. with all kind of death sight he see, hearing his buddy voice screaming distortedly. helplessly trying to save them but ended up blood and organ filled his hand.

seeing his close buddy crawling on the ground without a leg and intestine dragged along the ground.

with trauma in mine, a sudden land of a dive bomb blowing up the ground with broke rock crushed onto his face; giving him a heavy impact on his face, knocking him down the ground with missing half face.

helplessly crawling on the ground to seek for refuge, his both arm and leg was still intact; he stood up to head toward refuge. a sudden hope of a harboring ship came by to retreat the soldier. there's limited space of 60 seat left; REVAN manage to occupied 1 seat, suddenly 3 soldier was left behind due to not enough space for them to fit in the ship.

one of his buddy quickly grab him and throw him out of the ship just for the other buddy to take the seat. REVAN got dunk out of the ship hopelessly. he was screaming out with pain and broken bone, a sudden firing from a buddy strike toward his arm; causing one of his arm to destroy.

he started to black out. a fly of time goes by, he woke up with conscious; feeling the pain all over him with his missing leg and one arm. he left with only one arm to drag his way to some where.

his left leg gone missing and his right leg with loosen out clinging out. he felt so heavy dragging his clinging right leg; he torn out a cloth from his right sleeves to bite for endurance. mentally he get ready; he took out a dagger to cut of his right leg off.

less burden he got. quickly he drag himself to make his way to some where he can seek refuge.

through a long journey of one hand crawling he found a river, with thirst; he deep his head into the river for a refreshment.

after the refreshment of water he started to collapse. some one came by with a huge vehicle found his body, carry it in the vehicle.

when REVAN got up he saw himself laying on the table with lots of tool around, he saw an old man bring him a tray. he was wondering where is this place.

suddenly an old man started questioning him.

after the sharing the old man grabbed him up by his collar and inject him to sleep.

through the sleep the old man give him a replacement of his both leg and arm with a bionic set. most of his body need to be replace with bionic in order for him to work properly.

when he woke up he manage to stood up and move his arm and leg. he saw most of his body part is made of metal and wire clinging out, he started to feel shock; he screamed out with fear.

the old man grabbed him down to cheer him up.

he started to think through about how he ended up like this. refreshing back his memory, he felt so unwanted.

he felt so confuse having no ideal how to go back to where he belong, because he was abandoned by his own people and the one who betray him is his fellow soldier saving the other buddy by forfeiting him.

he wonder should he seek revenge?

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not needed to be there, unreliable to be there.

2012-01-20T23:05:00.001-08:00

Friday, January 20, 2012

not needed to be there, not reliable to be there. human is created with a duty, once they are exiled in a area where they got no duty; they will feel real damned and worthless.

its normal for a unwanted to head away to a area where he can serve and to be rely on. everyone will want to have a sense of belonging in a family. once the sense of family gone; i felt real purposeless. everything goes like a system instead.

flow in system but not flowing in as family. family goes naturally and freestyle, while system goes in routine and schedule.

felt purposeless and useless. i should start looking for somewhere; where i can be belong to. gonna find it.

it will be hard going through those junk and wasteland. felt so sucked up, difficulty seeing what's ahead.

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looking out of a window waiting for a time to leave the group.

2012-01-18T12:35:00.001-08:00

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

make it a quick post. hmm...! i make my mistake by falling for someone. heard of a word felling in love. it's really a word fall to represent that. thats a punishment for me to face.

i will never fell in love ever again, those are lies for Christ sake. no more! any next trap i should avoid and beware from falling to it. i gonna meditate through thoroughly in cleansing my heart and mine up, gonna pray real hard like before how i used to go through those same old feeling and same old disappointment. till the complete cleans and loose of mine comes; i will hold on to the principle of not trusting any lies.

once i like a person; my heart goes on crazily for that person so persistently. something i make take note never start any developing of any feelings for anyone. they will deceive me with lies like a serpent.

1 thing i have to also take note; im too soft hearted. give in to people easily, people beg me i offer. i got monthly tie to the orphanage, every month the the money in my bank will be deducted go to the orphanage. some time i give in till i forfeit myself. i should start being wise and think twice.

i think im done with all my dept and promise, promise to buy gift for people and promise to pay people back for the favor. now im free to leave some how. i gonna leave to a place where no 1 can bother me, especially those ITE group people.

hmm..! something come to my mine; the gold fish i bought as a gift for people had died. 2 of it died, normal for a owner who don't bother to find out how to take care of that life; causing the life to die.

if a person were to put their heart and mine in treasuring that gift could have go to the net to research on full detail of how to take care of the gift. thats show that; there's bother less.

something that make me sad and make me mad about it. i wouldn't wanna react out. my pride causing me to stay cool. but deep in me i am actually crying.

you know man don't cry in people eye.

i waited with patient and not wanting to rush things up, giving chance to develop and focus on what's important to be done, by the way it isn;t a time yet and it suddenly seems to me it wasn't the right one.

i gonna go back to be who i really is, it's time to catch up with friends who i neglected. since i had already got my license, i need to buy a bike and travel down with convenient to catchup with my old friend who i didn't hang out for so long. been spending too much time on the ITE group, now im some how done there. i should get a permission to leave.

i isn't gonna hold back there stucking in people advice. now i gonna do what i suppose to do for very long. i stopped what i wanna do for years just because of getting hold back trying to work in that ITE group. any way i done with it.

thats my ITE group photo, which i made:

this is my final task complete this photo and post, this can be a memory for me to see when ever im not there.

it may seems foolish but you won't understand whats in my mine, because you wasn't me at all.

my mine currently now started to think alot and making me aware. who ever give me a smile or try to cheer me up; seems fake to me, that fake smile and cheer can be found in macdonald or other customer service outlet.

that welcome to service!; remind me of going to a restaurant to eat, where the waiter welcome me.

that encouragement seems to me like as if, their forced to do so.

time to keep my eye away from those problem that caused me to like that. that particular person who blow my mine up is someone who i should keep my eye away from.

only solution is to welcome those people who will cheer me up. thats will be better for me.

i cannot be in a area where will bring me those idiotic memory and awkwardness. farewell to all those people, i gonna take a step out soon; now im packing up my heart and stuff to leave the group. i have to go back to my old friend to hang out with them regularly.

TOBIAS is someone who really hard for me to leave him. God placed such a good leader to guide me, im really glad. i been persevering in serving because i can't bare to leave a God given leader unofficially.

i had given everyone the previous photo i made and the gold fish which i promise to; im actually about to leave. due to youth transfer come into the group, i got new final task to be done. giving them this new photo that i made before i can leave.

gonna seek for what God want me to do, i cannot hold there wasting everyone time. i cannot be there where everything seems to be fake to me.

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wishing for a vespa!

2012-01-13T19:12:00.001-08:00

Friday, January 13, 2012

today is just another day; some say friday the 13. really something goes bad. but bad stuff happen that affect me instead.

regret shouldn't hope for bad thing to happen.

did a drawing which:

did this drawing on a random landscape. my heart desire for a vespa. i been seeing online for cheap vespa.

so far cheapest which i see in singapore 1st bike mart website is: $1400 VESPA P150XE. i wanted it badly damn!

this vespa model make me crazy over it; i wonder where can i get that money to buy it. hope something come across me which gave me a sum of money to buy it. i want a VESPA!

i hope i can find a even cheaper deal or get the money to buy it.

please! find all midst to get me a VESPA! don't have to cry me a river; instead get me a vespa!

by the way today is the prayer meet, i didnt make it; im late to the extend everything is over, sad case.

but headed to TEXTILE area supper at the nearby food store. with TOBIAS and the rest.

< >

the feeling of my heart just never change damn! i wonder why did i got a persistent heart.

the rest of the drawing:

another drawing which i miss out; a shitty 1:

smash the ground with side effect.

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today i pass my TP; burdern are gone now free to working toward other thing

2012-01-12T23:21:00.000-08:00

Thursday, January 12, 2012

today date i will never forget. it's my TP date; was really a long journey to get my 2B license. been waited and working toward getting it for quite long.

i been delaying and wasn't have enough money during that point of time. time passes by i sense something around the air watching me. how financially i struggled to delay my motor practical just to work for that money. time passes by a memorable day had struck me with a passing of TP. this time round out of the 3 previous round of my tp.

the traffic police which hold my row back after the ID parade; he was talking to us and encouraging us to be confident and remember the safety rule and asking us to treasure our life. he's some how a most sincere top i ever see.

usually after ID parade won't get hold back. but this time round did. i was really nervous after he encouraged us; i felt better.

my TP i got just nice 18 point 0 immidiate failure. it was very close to fail; thank god i made it through. i will never want to turn back. applied my license waiting for 1 month for the photo card license to be delivered over to me.

im really so happy that htis day had come; that i pass my TP and be able to ride bike. VESPA is my aim of getting.

after happy moment i just wanna had a cheer out to celebrate my own passing. was looking for people who wanna drink. happen to saw SHI XUAN post on going to TIMBRE; so i contact her. although i wasn't really invited, this is my last time going out with people who never invite me. that's it for god sake.

i aisn't belong there, in my unit i wasn't belong too. i should start stepping out to earn money and focus on my study. i gonna get my self a VESPA motor bike; make sure as classic as possible. i should be where i belong not hanging around with my group member like an extra there.

by the way i applied for

ideal do get stolen and re-edit completely.

2012-01-09T13:31:00.001-08:00

Monday, January 9, 2012

felt like someone stole my concept damn! wonder is my ideal got stolen or i think too much?

by the way about today is: clear my promises. buying a gold fish and a fish tank for SHI XUAN; head down to her house to pass her and early dinner with the rest at her house. with QUEK, LEONARD, ANQI and S.XUAN.

what i eat there is spaghetti, mushroom soup and mash potato. it was great nicely done and acceptable. didt have a stomach ache means the food is good.

after that moment head down to white sand and downtown east to catch a movie with LEONARD.

watched SHERLOCK HOLMES 2 A GAME OF SHADOW:

its a great movie to be catch. constant good from part 1 till part 2.

its exciting and entertaining character in the movie. great video effect and story line. great display of environment, it's a combine of action, strategy, detective and comedy in 1 movie.

its worth the money, who ever watch it won't regret. the moral of the story is great; only if you are into moral of story.

great explosive, slow motion, gun firing and fight effect. precise play back and fight scene.

i won't tell you anything from the story line, it won't show the goodness of it. watch it and you'll find out how good it is.

< >

tommorrow is my road revision damn! 12 jan is my TP the 4th a temp; haiz! gonna bring that long troublesome day come to haunt me again damn. i failed 3 time already; this time round it's fucking pissing.

the 3rd round of failing screwed my damn confident. why i always fail damn! people said to me that i forever TP, so insulting + humiliating.

i hate all the TP damn! they enjoy failing me; screw them all son of the bitch.

screw wobble, screw inappropriate posture. stupid rule, stupid system and stupid point.

screw SSDC. singapore shity driving center also known as suck every single dollar and cents.

TP give point for the sake of their own damn attitude.

this time round people will go for BBDC instead of SSDC. i so gonna suggest people to go BBDC instead of SSDC for screwing me up.

i can;t bloody take it getting left behind while all the passer moved on; leaving me behind like an idiot.

i only got 1 road revision to rely on, thanks to my damn screw pack timing; making me no time to book for more revision.

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time for reflection.

2012-01-08T07:21:00.001-08:00

Sunday, January 8, 2012

made this yesterday.

time passes by. every step i take; will develop memory. up time and down time, misery it most of the time, things happen to the extend where i just felt like running away.

to my knowledge running away is a coward; but some words of sense came from people:"is matter of weather are you dare enough to give up and run away?".

i was stucked with confusion, what he say is agreeable, so i should step down or step aside and not move. i am not in a place which i mend to be. im just in a place which i used to be; but happen to be on hold stucking there. now planning a escape rope which i can leave without affecting anyone around me. a friend of my also drop me a message:"just step away to seek for where you suppose to be, things can still goes on fine".

some how quite true, i don't have to think so much but just take an action to leave. i am suppose to be still some where to finish all my drawing and place my imagination into a piece of paper. i have to tell my self that: "things will turns out fine".

some time things happen may be a message to tell me, just like my chili plant. it no longer bare any chili, it reflected me. i started thinking through before that chili plant got removed away, i should give it some time for it to breath the last moment of air and sunlight. same goes for me; i should give my self sometime to clear my dept and done with my promises to people which i should.

in my group i felt meaningless. nothing much i can do, i should step down and retire.

maybe stepping aside there's something for me to seek, some hope and meaning for me to seek; rather then just stay there see things flow, im isn't at work any way.

suppose to do some drawing but ended up no time. find which day to burn off.

by the way today went to MACRITCHIE again with group member.

some photo upload, the rest in facebook. troublesome to wait and need to sleep early for school and my problem to be solve.

rough design on a flying bicycler:

just a random sketch out to wonder is it possible?

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damn it for today!

2012-01-06T11:19:00.001-08:00

Friday, January 6, 2012

today did a drawing:

was trying to clear off my worry; so i did a drawing. hope it help, story line for this is really long; i should write down in a book 1st. make sure my english improve 1st before i can type it out.

damn!! today is the NS MEDICAL check up date; screw my life seriously. i seriously so screwed up!

few month back i remember i check the letter it stated 7 JANUARY 2012. now look at it; it stated 6 JANUARY 2012, which is today.

suppose to be at KHOO TECK PUAT HOSPITAL for the medical checkup at 8.30am. why life flow this way?

now i missed it; wonder it is an offence? for god sake.

have to wait till monday to call for the damn mindef medical shit. now i don;t know what to do seriously. i kept the letter properly in my bag. can;t believe can end up seeing the detail wrongly.

< >

update for the pass few day which i missed out.

i did a drawing out of bored and emotionally down; things happen to the extend which i wanna get out of this world to run to some where which will make me really at rest:

Thursday, January 5, 2012. was bored on this day actually; stucked at home; gladly didn't go to school; because school haven't open.

so text TOBIAS he said; he at home. gladly ANQI text me; so i told her im stucked at home with boredom. so nice of her to call me out; thats great; went to shop at BUGIS with her, JOSEPHINE and BERNEDETTE.

actually what give me an inspiration to draw this; it's because i shopped around bugis. seeing shop around with price tag; making me wonder what if everything is free of charge. how i wish everything free haha.

so i draw this picture out; i got no ideal how heaven gonna look like; so i roughly sketch it out with all i have in my mine.

the rest of the shot.

i snap 3 shot to pick 1 best out of the 3 shot. thats why there's 3.

for the Tuesday, January 3, 2012: went to MACRITCHIE for a run with TOBIAS, ANQI and SHI XUAN. quite a tiring 1:

i snap this; look like kids playing catching right?

run for a few long distance which enough to make me pend. show you what i bring back from there:

this is really an unforgettable day.

actually what makes things memorable is actually bad things that happen. especially injuries it left a mark on the body which will remind us how we get it.

not so bad i take this as a good thing. fell off the tree due to trying to show off my terrane show.

take photo randomly around too; upload some only. lazy to wait for all the photo to be up here. all my photo i uploaded it in FACEBOOK.

i think i should not depend on facebook in saving photo; i should have a personal storage for photo, so it will be a good memory to look back.

good thing about MACRITCHIE is: there's place to shower and locker to keep our item safe.

another photo which we try to take together but seems impossible, because; 1 person have to be the damn camera man:

that can roughly show who are there.

i think i should upload some photo to show how the running area look like:

thats all for the MACRITCHIE thinging.

this coming sunday will be going there again; try to call my sis and her friend along for that run. a friend of my sis named CLAUDINE CHAN request; wanting to KAYAK at the reservoir. quite a good i deal but i don't want to jack my group member plan of running.

hope everyone stick to the same activity.

oh ya i also have to upload about the Thursday, January 5, 2012 LG STEAM BOAT AND TEPANYAKI thinging.

my group member came over to my mom place at TECK WHYE for LG; a great steam boat we had. bought alot of vege because JOSEPHINE fasting from meat. she can only eat vege; thats great.

who was there is TOBIAS, JAMIE TAN, JOSEPHINE, ABIGAIL PY(my sis), my MOM and me ofcause.

sad short of someone which is the atmosphere producer: ANQI!! she wasn't around due to idle sick or not enough sleep. i think can consider sick. even if not enough sleep also as good as sick. wonder why she abuse her self damn!

but the LG still goes on fine without her. ut obviously with her around will be better.

oh ya! i remember OLIVER wasn't around for the LG too. he say he coming ended up as good as no notice. his responsibility level still got long way to go for me to intro him any LOBANG or job. priority go to someone else already; his current situation is definitely not in the list; till he gonna do something about it to prove me wrong.

photo of the Thursday, January 5, 2012 LG steam boat:

i really wanna thank god for everything, he never fail to move my LG. 3 person not around; yet he still place my sis around to help move the LG.

that's some of the photo, can't possibly upload all. i won't be able to wait. all at face book.

there's a photo which moved my heart; make me started thinking alot:

thats my mom and sis.

i remember few year back my mom wasn't look like this. time passed by went through alot of hardship; especially the CHINATOWN and CLARKQUAY time. she went through alot, im there to see almost everything and process.

last time those society she formed in CHINATOWN and CLARKQUAY. its really a tough journey.

those hardship she went through; my dad wasn't around to be there for her. she was abandoned alone without any education and wealth.

she fought through those hardship open up 2 place of gambling area at CLARK QUAY and CHINA TOWN. she have to face all those hooligan and her place was filled with cigarette smoke. she have to tolerate this kind of damn environment for years; just to provide for my sibling and me.

the business she ran wasn't a pleasing one to GOD eye. but god still graceful to bless her and educate her.

during those process i remember my dad wasn't at her side yet not even provide any room for her. now i look at my area i see no room for my mom. that's really pain to my eye. my grandmother occupied the master bed room.

all my father side relative got room and space for my grandmother but none of them provide any room for her. my grandmother should be staying at my father elder brother JIMSON place.

out of the damn self fist and cruelthy of his damn wife; he dump his own mom out of the house. his house have room for her but; he still wanna dump her.

i believe GOD eye won't be so blind to see all this.

GOD still provide a house for my mom at TECK WHYE. she abandon her CLARK QUAY and CHINATOWN for a decent life. GOD really at work.

i remember those few year back which i still at my NITEC time: ITE BEDOK. everytime after school i head to CHINATOWN to meet my mom.

she even open up a room at CLARK QUAY for my LG to use. my previous group member get to see the environment. it's really a stumbling to my lg member.

all those day had passed now; life seems to be much more decent. those days i remember; KELVIN LEONG, KENNETH CHIA, SHAUN CHEN, VICTOR CHIN, JAEDEN XM, SHAWN LUM, JAMES TIRAPON and not sure who. those people did see the place.

those people carry memory of the place and days.

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another catch up.

2011-12-29T10:19:00.001-08:00

Thursday, December 29, 2011

yesterday it was LG, took place at my mom house @ TECK WHYE.

we have our TURKEY feast:

that the turkey we had.

this fellowship is another memorable day which i felt the family hood.

who was there is OLIVER, ANQI, JOJO ANG and JAMIE TAN.

dinner with TURKEY and SPAGHETTI.

we played game and blast music using ma virtual dj.

i felt so much closer with ma group after this feast.

some random photo link from face book. roughly describe using photo.

3 random portrait photo. it short of like a late CHRISTMAS dinner.

show you roughly what happe during the game:

we got our face vandalized.

some how a tough time washing off those ink. but we still have fun.

after the lg, i actualy head down to TOH GUAN road at JURONG EAST to meet JABEZ, EUGENE and CHIN HOE; JEABEZ heading to malaysia. so EUGENE ideal is to spend the night with her.

by the way i scanned the NEO PRINT PHOTO already:

i cut the photo using photo shop, the neo print look messy this way so i have to divide it by cutting it using photo shop.

thats all the neo print i cut.

CHRISTMAS over just 2 day back.

2011-12-27T10:00:00.001-08:00

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

barely have the time to update, damn!

since after the SNSD concert, there's so many plan going on. especially for CHRISTMAS. i been spending most of my time trying to make this 2011 CHRISTMAS a memorable 1.

all my effort and finance had been placed to make the DEC 22, 2011 CHRISTMAS party a good 1. but things seems to screw up a little.

DEC 25 is the day i remember, from the DEC 24 to 25 is a countdown from christmas eve to christmas. some spirit of christmas left in my freezer. guest what left?

what left is: the CHRISTMAS WHOLE TURKEY! gonna unleash tommorrow for my LG.

CHRISTMAS decoration, LED light for JESUS BIRTHDAY.

days before christmas 18 DECEMBER 2011: there's gathering at KUNGNE house to catch up with my previous group member NORTH.

spend the day at her house, steam boat and stuff.

and the night at chomp chomp hokker.

the 1 who plan this thing is: DAVID ONG. my ex group leader.

i spend quite alot of money in chomp chomp. because once awhile this type of gathering, hardly have this time.

so i won't mine.

show you some picture before the DEC 22 early christmas party preparation:

this a random picture taken. it located at VINCENT QUEK house. look real messy, that ton of night is really a memorable. where i test out my tepanyaki pan to grill hot dog and prata.

the memorable 1 is also heading to ANQI house to prepare food to cater for the PARTY without any sleep. everyone working hard there.

her house is huge and good for preparing food. but hygene wise kind of irritating; lots of ant infesting food in no time. saw rat rushing pass just like that.

after all better then nothing.

thats make christmas memorable as well.

when the countdown from 24dec to 25dec CHRISTMAS; really a memorable, was at scape but i head off 1st to prepare stuff. didn't get to join them for countdown but manage to head down to MING XIANG house with buffet item like my: tepanyaki pen.

the 1st few hour of the CHRISTMAS at 3AM in the morning we had our steam boat:

that's the steam boat. this picture taken by ALVIN REN the handsome CHINA friend of my.

hmm..! something came across my mine telling me that; someone around having problem with me. sense that someone dislike me. who can it be?

show u some drawing:

been drawing to clear of my sorrow, expressing in drawing is a good ideal. instead of dwelling in the problem i rather dwell in how to draw a figure out.

yesterday i did this drawing:

i felt so broken down due to all the loses. sometime the feeling of working so hard and yet there's people not putting effort and not even there for it.

making me felt like a fool and sometime having no clue or hint why there's people who are there to dislike?

some time i even feel like just run away and not giving a damn about the dislike of people.

its time for me to be gone, i can no longer hang around this circle; im off their era. i not suppose to be around to ruin things up.

i think im done with everything, my aim to make this CHRISTMAS a memorable 1 had already come to pass.

for DEC 15 LG, if im not wrong DECEMBER 15 the day where the MRT break down:

this taken by JAMIE TAN, the day we capture a NEO print.

actually talk about NEO print, the previous time is with my sis and her friends, it was 3 year + ago.

after so long now can take.

seriously for god sake, i don't want to have or left and bad memory behind. not any of it left before i leave. for christ sake please don't happen.

i think i wanna show more of my LED light i fix at TECK WHYE:

that the portrait picture.

next i am gonna place a disco ball in. gonna get a huge mirror to break it and place it to cover up a ball.

1stly have to wait for pay to faster come. i got list of item to get.

.....................................................................................

2 day after the SNSD concert, woken up from a long rest.

2011-12-12T10:26:00.001-08:00

Monday, December 12, 2011

hm..! 2 day after 10 dec snsd concert. kind of missed those moment; working with my friends.

this panorama shot is taken during rehersal time, that's why there's no audience around.

8 dec is the rehersal day, 9 december is morning rehersal till evening actualy show 1 start.

10 dec same is 9 dec. day 1 alot of screwed up. i taken alot of photo randomly. didnt get to take photo with all my friends; why i didnt even think of it damn!!

big regret for that.

quite a tiring day for me for going through that 3 days, actually i wont be that tired; because im sick on that day. having dry cough since after the MNET AWARDS.

i was coughing and doing followspot in the same time. glad i didn't shake the spot light.

missed those moment of working with all a friends, next concert please count me in.

by the way i also kind of missed those moment of seeing SNSD in life form, especially SEOHYUN that goddess! missed seeing her. i bought LG BL 40 because; saw a advertisement of her holding it. look real gorgeous!

i think i should upload a photo of her to show how she look like. she dun have to even extend her eye bigger; she's already look cute. think it's because of her black eye.

the black eye can never be changed through plastic surgery. so naturally she's gorgeous!

that's SEOHYUN!

gorgeous isn't it? she's quiet yet loud. think her action spoken out loud and her singing sang out loud.

but i manage to take photo with the translator, XINMEI happen to drop by by coincident so she can help me take this photo:

YEGI the translator, she's a good translator after all compared to the previous SHINEE concert.

her voice really dominate through! so very clear! she's firm and gentle. she take advice even from idiotic people like LARY who like to throw temper on people. LARY attitude sucks frankly speaking. i think overall he did the most mistake.

i hate it when he shouted at the translator with his bloody attitude. people ask him question he can't answer properly, wonder why do they even affirm him for teaching all the 1st timer follow spotter? he didn't even teach at all.

those people who he teach complane to me, saying; LARY didn't really teach them. only give queue in a inappropriate rush manner and when the 1st timer can't manage to coup with that inappropriate queue that given by him. straight away he don't want to give them a chance to do the spot light job.

in my mine im thinking what is up? why do they even call him a good teacher?

i not sure something come to my mine there's someone on a bad intention. not sure who?

upload some random photo of the concert:

PANRAMA shot next:

landscape panorama.

lazy to upload al, will take forever.

............................................................

2nd day of work; 1st day of snsd concert

2011-12-09T10:18:00.001-08:00

Friday, December 9, 2011

SNSD concert day 1 had passed. left with tommorrow, hope everything goes perfectly.

i feel like watching the snsd intro video again. especially when they raise of from the water and turn from a butterfly, cool stuff!

tommorrow still got 1 last chance to watch. super duper cool.

especially member introduction which called the individual name out: "SEOHYUN..!" seeing her dressed up in a greece outfit with water splattering around with a dance of the blazzing sparkler dash across! i don't know why my heart started bitting 10 time faster. the vassal of my eye overloaded with blood; i nearly tears out blood!

since the day she born on this earth; beauty of mermaid, ciderella, snow white and etc became fairy tale.

when SEOHYUN walk she do not head to the location, instead she rotate the earth to pull the location towards her.

when SEOHYUN jump she not actually jumping up, she pushing the earth downward.

GODDESS no longer exist because it been replaced by SEOHYUN.

4 DEC 2011: TVXQ meet the singapore FAN.

2011-12-04T16:47:00.001-08:00

Sunday, December 4, 2011

actually today is not exactly TVXQ concert, it's a TVXQ meet the asia fan party. it some how works like a concert.

it took place at SINGAPORE INDOOR STADIUM. some how it's a small thinging, but their performance and video make it turns out to be big. i was amazing, it's suppose to be a small talk between TVXQ and their fan.

it seems really sincere. overall i look into who's sincere and who's not sincere.

CHANG MIN is a really sincere guy, he really try to please his fan and audience; can tell by the way he speak and the way his facial expression. he's really smiling at his fan.

some time can tell weather a artist is sincerely smiling or not. i can give 1 example of who smile if fake; look at SNSD TAEYOON. there's something up with her which she wasn't happy to be in SINGAPORe; it look like as if it bring her a bad memory.

saw her during the MNET award 2011. maybe because of the UNIVERSAL STUDIO incident in singapore, which gave her a real bad impression. her facial expression in the show wasn't present enough to tell that she is sincerely smiling.

but CHANG MIN in TVXQ; the word he used and the performance he gave it really can tell that he's really thankful for the support from his fan.

for JUN HO; he look real unsincere about everything he said. his attitude in the show like as if he want this event to quickly passes by. i don't see any sincerity in him at all. can tell that he try to force him self to pretent like he wanna hear from his fan. but things turn out to be so un natural.

overall his performance is good, but his smile from his face look really stiff which can tell that he wasn't really on the mode to smile.

he should learn to love his fan; for all the support the fan given to him for him to be this famous.

different people got different judgement and point of view; i got my own that what my judgement. don't have to agree fully.

the PANORAMA LANDSCAPE VIEW of singapore indoor stadium exterior.

while at the MRT station it seems really silent, but after coming out of the MRT station saw a crowd crowding around the TICK BOX area.

it must be something big coming up.

those are the SETUP of stage and rehersal. SHOWTECH work behind the scene for things to be done and light to be up.

thats taken some where when te show begin.

PANORAMA SHOT.

thats the most picture i can post, if not too much impossible to post finish. the rest all i uploaded into my face book.

im just no body there, only a piece of spotlight there. i just saw this by chance, i wasn't even aware of this.

< >

some few picture to post for MNET ASIANS MUSICS AWARD 2011 in singapore! this is 1 of the most memorable experience which i wanna post about it.

those are the photo which i did not upload in here.

those moment where all those K-IDOL gather in 1 house called SINGAPORE IN DOOR STADIUM. even DR. DRE, SNOOP DOGG and I.AM.WILL. i think those who bought the ticket won't regret but will be glad instead.

all those light effect is by SHOWTECH.

.....................................................................................

damn it!

2011-12-02T07:59:00.001-08:00

Friday, December 2, 2011

DAMN!

i now feeling real sick, damn someone which i don't who; damn! make out a damn conversation which make me felt so bothered! im already on a headache still wanna press me down. making me feel like just kill my self and put everything aside and let it just flow on it own.

2 more day to TVXQ concert. i gonna get well for that to be done, i cannot get such damn headache.

i not gonna loose those friend which i treasure alot. now someone trying to throw a friend like me away with those damn reason.

i did not even do anything against that particular person, why do that have to give me?

damn it bloody hell! while hanging out with my friend suppose to have fun end up this type of sms come; i feel like gonna explote!

was passing by suddenly saw something:

seeing that damn grass hopper killing those plant. countless of it around mose individual plant.

feel like smacking it; after take a closer look seeing it, happily having his lunch. it suddenly kind of cheer me up, seeing that grass hopper happy making me feel happier.

starring at it can help me distress by abit.

i wish i can be like that grass hopper just jump around and food is every where. don't have to stress so much about money, study and future.

wanna travel just simply fly or jump, without worrying about paying transport fee or about TP.

this coming SNSD concert hope everyone in my list got the job for it.

i never work with them all before. so i gonna have this chance to do so. please let it be.

something which i snap during the MAMA 2011:

the decoration which used for SNSD performance background, look really nice and real, but it make of some light material. which i no ideal what does it called.

i must give to my best for this coming SNSD concert. reputation is important, never let people down and the concert down.

SHOWTECH give me those opportunity and job; i must not let SHOWTECH down.

.....................................................................................

day after the M-NET ASIANS MUSIC AWARDS 2011.

2011-11-30T21:31:00.001-08:00

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

yesterday is the actual day for M-NET ASIANS MUSIC AWARDS 2011.

day and the 2 days before the actual day is; rehersal. it's really memorable.

taken alot of photo; which impossible to upload all in here.

all my photo uploaded into my FACEBOOK. blogger only can upload 5 photo in a time.

but blogger will store ful length photo; instead face book will scale it down to lousier quality.

this the potrait PANORAMA shot taken during the actual day.

by the way i saw SNSD with my naket eye. i saw them just 5 to 6 step away. i saw SEOHYUN in life form; i nearly faint.

i also saw 2NE1, super cool stuff.

usually only saw through internet or some entertainment papper or screen.

i saw beast also; usually saw it in internet. but life form this time round.

through the pass few days the rehersal is really a long hours sad case. for my spotlight queue really slack: just pick up a few things and done.

i saw alot of artist there everyone in life form: even snoop dogg and dr. DRE.

black eye pease as well; but some member only.

show you the landscape panorama shots.

i filled with people. that taken during the actual day.

it worth buying ticket for it; after seeing all the performance.

the whole working process really cheer me up. hope to get slot for video crew for the next upcoming SNSD concert.

all the lighting and sound effect will not be projected if there's no show tech. all the command and maintainer can manage to have communication; because of what or not?

look at this:

that's the intercom set which used to communicate for command.

guest how do i stay awake:

RED BULL. although it did not been mention in the show. because it's a back stage hero. i see alot of the worker will buy RED BULL. even asking their friend to help them get.

show you the stick that used in the MISS A performance:

there's 4 actually, but i only got 3 with me now. 1 more i couldn't finds it.

that it is.

before you play the video lower down you speaker volume. i was shock when i click play the volume dunno why so loud and buzzerling noise.

maybe this will show what exactly it use for. not sure anyone will interested in the stick or not.

.....................................................................................

thought suppose to go surprise people for their birthday, but instead things seems to be cancelled.

2011-11-25T05:19:00.001-08:00

Friday, November 25, 2011

i did drawing on 1 more charactor for the 2NE1: it;s hurt.

Gong Min-ji! she suppose to look hot, but i draw untill make her look terrible.

i lazy to redraw haiz! left with 2 more charactor to go. hope 2NE1 will be there for the MNET ASIAN MUSIC AWARDS.

never see them life before, why have a chance seeing them life. no risk isn't it?

im not really a hardcore fan or something. it's just wanna take a look to find out what is it that most SINGAPOREAN are crazy over them?

for SHINEE and SUPER JUNIOR; i know the reason why people can crazy over them. their life performance move my heart as well. although i don't really have interest in those K-POP stuff.

but 2NE1 IT's Hurt MV itself make me crazy over it ahaha! they don't have a good look; but they got something unique which capture people attention. their style and outfit. their voice is not consider powerful voice, but their creativity strike the hit.

most of their track have electronic voice; which im not sure weather did they project their voice through any gadget item or their voice naturally like that.

but nice hit they got.

by the way today i did make it to school, but late to the extend i missed SPORT AND WELLNESS. sad case, i missed my napfa test. gonna make it the next round.

i have to clear those shit as soon as possible.

oh yeah by the way i got something to show you what i draw for the ITE family day group banner:

that's the banner. pirate symbol haha.

i try to make it look as fierst as possible but; instead it look ridiculous instead.

by the way when i draw that charactor, i suddenly realize my hand just couldn't control the pencil properly. i think i loose hand of it; gonna start drawing again. been using computer to work on the damn AUTODESK MAYA. until now i still not yet went to the library to borrow book on AUTODESK MAYA.

the rest of the snap. make 4 snap; pick best 1 out of this 4 as usual:

count down 2 more day to start working for the MNET AWARDS. 27 and 28 is rehersal; hope to adapt to their rehersal before the 29 comes the actually day. gonna be damn nervous.

i think those artist is much more nervous what they go through.

.....................................................................................

LED LIGHT SETUP and KFC promotion with: KELVIN VIOLET TAN, JOEL TAN and JUSTIN.

2011-11-23T23:22:00.001-08:00

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

hmm..! today i manage to extend my LED light wire longer; using scissors to cut the wire and shave of the rubber of the wire and link the copper inside to my unwanted wire to be an extension.

at 1st i was staring at the led light thinking how? the wire too short, it just can't link any where. i extend the power line to super long now haha.

that's the cabinet which before.

i so gonna show you the after, LED light gave a very good effect to the cabinet.

when doing this light i thought it will be simple, but after trying it; realize there's plan required. need to examine where the power input and out put.

need to find a way to hide the power cable. ugly cable should be hidden behind.

that's the ugly process of examining the LEG lights, it flood around the floor which look pretty messy.

after the process are over:

how is it, does it look like OCHARD road? christmas period can just on it, im thinking of adding red light so chinese new year can switch the color to red for chinese new year.

normal day can switch on both color to mix blue and red= purple color.

actually i spend $0 for this, but instead time.

i am suppose to be meeting KELVIN VIOLET TAN and the rest for KFC promotion, but im late due to rushing up all the light.

i can't possibly leave the work half done and go off, if not all the mess around my grandmother come back home without knowing about what i am gonna do will start creating a trouble out of it.

after done everything, quickly clear off all the mess. actually seated still and stare at the light can really help me to day dream, a good form of destress.

those effort worth it. when ever i feel broken hearted or sad can stare at those lights.

i still got alot of LED light left, wonder should i sell it away? some i will be transfering over to CHUA CHU KANG to help my mom decorate her place for christmas.

remaining photo left, to display how i link the wire to extend it.

i remember i took a photo at KFC wonder why, the photo wasn't in my memory card.

after the KFC went over to KELVIN VIOLET TAN house to ton over:

help him make this effect, he over powered with invoker ability.

.....................................................................................

got free LED lights from DECO room; thank god!

2011-11-22T09:58:00.001-08:00

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

hmm..! today im late for school more then 2hour late.

christmas feel just came:

i got lots of free LED lights from DECO, today i went to help out DECO to clear up the room; then there are lots of LED light with lots of different type; the blue LED light is the nicest, i brought back alot of it, including other color as well.

they plan to throw the LED light away, i look at the un-open boxes of LED light to take a look what is inside which they wanna throw; so i quickly gather all the box to 1 corner and look for a power supply to give a quick light test to every LED light.

so many of them are working beautifully; without a word i quickly gather and pack up all the LED light to save it. 1 thing i did is tell them that the LED light is still working great; they consider keeping it; ended up i regret even telling them haha.

the boss suddenly alow me to take it, that's great i brought back alot of it in a huge plastic bag. help out till 10PM took cab back with the DECO boss, free transport and i save my strength in carrying all those LED light.

when i look at all the LED light; my mind started to create a plan out what to do with all those LED light.

that's the rain bow color LED lights:

i plan to take out all the crystal color LED light to fix into my living room cabinet to project a blue light around which gonna give a gorgeous effect, can't wait to setup the light.

gonna take picture of it soon. prepare dark tape to paste it around my cabinet and area where my TERMINATOR figure are.

i took some picture of the cabinet which i wanna surround the edge of the cabinet with led light which will light up my figuring collection.

that's some of the figure which i transfer from my room area out, because i brought back 3 more figure which even larger; where it take up space.

i consider transfer my FINAL FANTASY figures out.

there's some box of final fantasy figure which i haven't open up yet. oh yeah i nearly forget about the MAMA AWARD concert at indoor stadium, gonna ask KELVIN to keep me reminded; he should be my reminded. because i intro him that LOBANG.

that's the cabinet:

im been staring at the cabinet thinking where to locate the LED light?

yeah get back to the topic:

heard from my sister is some big event which alot more artist will be there, i didn't even know about that. i was shock feeling so honoured to work for those big event. i remember Y.O.G opening and closing ceremony i was there working; hope to get more big event lobang.

i suddenly realize those lobang is not just to cover up my lost of money in my bloody traffice police test, but instead is something for me to get involve with.

thanks to my fateful friends too. im also excited for the next month SNSD concert; hope it will clear of my misery and cheer me up.

this few day i been thinking alot; i been trying to figure out AUTODESK MAYA just to keep my mind busy. so i won't think so much about those incident.

< >

i already said: "get her or stay widowed". that's the word which i cannot take back. if i take back my word i cannot call my self a man.

my heart just will never change, even if it turns harden or soften it won't switch to others.

how hurt it become, that feelings will never go off. i don't know why? maybe im on depression or going crazy soon.

my brain trigger a current of blood into my heart; telling me that there's no one else is better for me. because GOD gave me this heart and brain to think. god give me a heart so that i will got a feeling; ended up feeling for someone now.

GOD gave me a brain; ended up i keep thinking of that one person. GOD have the power to change my heart and to change my choice but he did not do that.

instead he let me make a choice and that's my choice. liking her so persistently.

.....................................................................................

today is ITE group family day

2011-11-20T10:39:00.001-08:00

Sunday, November 20, 2011

today is family day, i cooked pineapple rice and my invention of mixing spaghetti noodle.

morning KIRBY come over my place to assist me, i teach him the measurement of mixing the ingredient for the spaghetti to mass produce into a number of plastic cup and wrap up.

he's my mass producer for that. my pine apple rice short of ingredients, short of prawn and ham; due to afraid some people can't eat sea food. for ham is i lazy to buy.

i should make it saltier, but something come to my mine is:"the water in singapore no 100% clean, chances of destroying the kitney is high, so i decided not to add."

simple stuff rather then came out with so many complicated ideal.

i been working on AUTODESK MAYA:

been figuring out how to make a 3d animation, i so gonna stack PARTICLE and AFTER EFFECT with MAYA 3d model animation.

im now bloody stuck there; been searching for solution online how to really create a proper 3d model instead of just a pathetic bone structure, i tried animated those "S" key function but it just couldn't multitask up all the movement.

screw that seriously.

who you some test out of effect on my own webcam video:

that's the effect which i try out.

this is another effect which i test out too on shooting air and smoke effect.

this is another test out effect; making unlimited smoke effect out of the recorded web cam video with KIRBY. just did it today.

yeah get back with the MAYA thing; AUTODESK MAYA tool and function is really complicated totally different world from ADOBE PHOTO SHOP and stuff.

my aim now is to master: AUTODESK MAYA, ADOBE ILLUSTRATOR, ADOBE AFTER EFFECT.

my dream is to make a 3d animation by my own. i been figuring out of a method and a solution.

online solution is really unclear; most of it is people showing off their skill instead, someone just game a a solution is to go to the library to hunt for BOOKS that will give soultion and tutorial.

guest wad i lost my 3D model for MAYA; wonder where did i save it to.

i see through online heard that MONTY OUM takes months to complete just 1 scene of 3d animation. i thinking this will be a good ideal to make the month pass by quickly to reach my next TP date on JAN 12. wait for 2 months later, damn it.

i hate SSDC , i hate SINGAPORE system.

i failed my TP i seriously lost all my mood to even do any drawing. my said a word on making a drawing of the rest of the 2NE1 IT'S HURT drawing.

< >

REMINDER NOTICE:

1: write detation of lines, on PSALM 23. (15X)

2: draw 2NE1 the rest of the member.

3: get the date and detail on this month K concert which i suppose to work for to earn my money back which i lost it on my 17 NOV TP.

4: DEC SNSD concert; i have to work for: get the date when is it, which i forgotten due to putting my mine too much on that bloody TP and failed TP the 3rd time. really a blow on my head.

..............................................................................................

failed my Tp the 3rd time; everything is gone!

2011-11-17T09:48:00.000-08:00

Thursday, November 17, 2011

today is my TP date; i failed the 3rd time. life seems to be suck; i absent from school for 2 days just for my circuit and road revision. today i absent from school and lost my percentage of attendance from school for the sake of the fucking TP.

ended up i lost my attendance,my money, mental strength, morel, my time, my life, my hope in getting that damn 2B license.

now im felt like im stucked in darkness and lost; wonder how can i make things up.

i felt like everything was gambled away. my POINT is 38 point and 0 immidiate failure.

all my point is at road: stated say i wobble, impropriate posture, poor acceleration, failed to signal, sharp turn. i asked the TP where exactly it is so i can know clearly and learn from it. but he like blur not knowing where it is.

envy those passer out of 50 people 17 pass only. wonder is there any under table speculation?

SINGAPORE is just like that; day by day time passes by everything get harder. last time people TP; they release quite a group. now is 1 after another came back. tighter the monitoring; it felt like as if no different from having a 3 digit micro chip in my forehead and wrist.

a totally living bar code.

my PDL gonna expire next month: i just spend money on renewing. that money can be used to pay phone bill and now it gone just like that. i think it is because of the country over populated; some have to be dead to reduce the population. things seems to get harder when there's too many people around.

harder to get in the train or even bus; that's already obvious sign.

something really must happen to reduce the population so there will be more space.

weakest spot in life. you can look down on me all the way you like; me my self i already looking real down on my self for being so lousy. i think i should become a fertilizer instead. better then being a useless fellow.

..........................................................................

11-11-11 grandmother birthday.

2011-11-11T10:46:00.000-08:00

Friday, November 11, 2011

today is my Grandmother bday. went to boon keng area; forget what restaurant. but the buffet there is great. base on chinese dishes like zhi cha, but in an even much more advance way. better quality compared to those normal zhi cha.

i didnt really take any photo due to busy eating; but my sis did take.

that my grandmother birthday cake. durian cake, it taste great.

once awhile will gather with my relative, but kind of awkward being around them. never really communicate much with them.

nothing much to talk about, why didnt i come out with a topic to talk.

although i didnt take any photo but yet there's quite a number of photo taken by my relative and my sis.

that's my sis on the left is my young cousin JASPER TAN.

she self take photo.

by the way today is 11-11-11 (11 NOV 2011) interesting date digit which my grand mother birthday landed on this date. think her wish will come through.

wonder what is really up with this date, in facebook people mention about it, but i kind of don't get it; what exactly it's.

aiya should snap photo of 11-11-11, 11:11AM, 11:11PM or 1111hr. haiz what a waste never mind still got next year still got 12-12-12 etc.

oh yeah! i forget about the 2NE1 drawing, i forget to do a drawing on it. it's late haiz! never mind still got tommorrow to go. the rest of the member for the: ITS HURT 2NE1 MV.

today is friday, plan failed and i can't hang too late tommorrow there's WFL.

that's my cousin SHAUN and JASPER their brothers, they starting to look alike day by day times goes by.

< >

i been listening to the audio bible it mention alot about sexual immorality in many of the book.

it's really try to warn people countless time. it just keep mention about it; it's really a hint that struct me, it's like a continuous warning that nudge me to my ear.

i started to go do research on sexual immorality, it include: HOMOSEXUAL, PROSTITUTION, GIGOLO, SCANDAL and etc.

having sex with other people wife or husband also include in the sexual immorality. that's really a serious offend. they will have no place in the kingdom of heave; their name will not even appear or be mention in the kingdom of heaven.

there's a celebrity name called EDISON CHEN. those scandal he did; in this world he can escape; when he step out of this world he will get it, no way for him to get away with it.

this world is filled with earthly things; the meaning of earthly things is something that will not last. things on this earth may seems cool but it will come to pass; because it's corrupted. earthly treasure is worthless to god eye.

this world is no home for you, real home will not contain anything that will piss you off like people scandal around; fucking others wife or husband.

the real home will not have people like EDISON CHEN. sometime those MAFIA make me wonder; they got money, man power and weapon, but ended up they can't even get EDISON CHEN. is those MAFIA that useless?

......................................................................................

today is another day, my heart is filled with weary and burden because of my TP date is close.

2011-11-10T07:10:00.001-08:00

Thursday, November 10, 2011

today lg, kind of a broken plan, my discernment tell me that someone in the group does something unright; which put up a situation which broke things up. it's more then 1 person in the group did something not right; can be in school or some where. im not the judge by the way; so i cannot name it out. it include me as well.

today reached school at 8.45AM the HAND BALL COMPETITION begin on time where i just reach, my class got 1st. i don't have to do anything much; i just have to get in the game and act like as if im in the game, simply pass the ball and try give a shot but miss, never mind someone will push it in.

and the result come in a way where my class got 1st. today it's such a day which i not sure it's a good thing or a bad thing. confuse, lecture not around. after the competition over; went back to class on the com instead of study or do project; whole class GTA SAN ANDREAS. through the process of fun; wasn't concious enough to realize something is not right.

today class suppose to end at 5PM, but it ended at 3PM instead, competition end at 12PM; head down to class to play GTA until 3pm, rush back home to change up and went to GYM with my bro.

i wanna see the different, i gonna compare my last time photo and my future photo to see weather gymming will make any different or not.

i so gonna pump up my size.

today i train back and BI SAP. i suddenly remember about today competition i went to my school GYM to do some bench press as a form of warming up for the game; to boost my morel for the game.

i did 3 set of flat bench. actually i not suppose to do bench press, because 2 day ago i had already trained on bench press; it suppose to rest.

no choice it is because i need morel for the game.

the good things about building muscle; it work like a armor protecting your organ and also increase strength by abit. with bigger muscle there's greater force you can give to a person face by just punching straight to the face.

with that amount of strength it can break through bone and cushion the impact that other gave you. muscle got punch it can simply recover, when a bone break it have to go through operation for fixing back the bone. that's the benefit.

our heart is located at our chest, when our muscle is not there the heart is exposed right before the rib cage bone; bench press help to increase and harden up the chest muscle to cover up the rib cage bone and heart.

so people try to give blow right on the heart; the heart will beable to resist the damage.

there's lot of advantage, there's people telling me too muscular very ugly; but i rather go for practical then just the look.

no point being so hot or good looking but ended up being vulnerable.

saying it with a crook way, which not everyone will like to read this:

a friend of my which i don't want to mention name; he had sex with his girl friend ended up his girl friend said something really insulting saying: his dick is not big enough. can't help it i started laughing out with tears; not because of that guy have a small dick, but instead on how foolish he is; been treated like a dildo.

i share it to my bro; he started laughing not because of that guy have a small dick. but it's because that girl live a life for a COCK(dick) can't help it, i cant stop laughing! i such a damn sinner! another possibility is said is: that girl got her hole loosen by plenty of dick and pipe. that's sound damn crook! its not a good word to be use but can't help it, it just so humorous.

i decided to advice him say, the bigger your dick is, the more vulnerable it will be. just swing the leg randomly the dick will got kicked. big stuff is easier to be aim, while small stuff harder to be hit. u can try use a marker to draw a big dick and a small dick on the wall; try aim it with a rubber band.

this word sound crappy i know haha^^

for girl if im not wrong they wish to have bigger boobs right? oh hell yeah..! girl with bigger boobs definitely guys love it, hot stuff. but what come to my mind is a girl who wish to have a bigger boobs is seriously dumb ass. why would you wanna have a thing which will cause a guy to lust at.

walking sex toy? big boobs is vulnerable too; not just physically but sexually as well. so clumsy as well.

never be a lust magnet, it will do no good to you and also no good to the other party by causing them to lust. come on those girl who have big boobs every where she go there's all shot of guy will pay attention to; the 1st thing which the guy will glance the eye to is the boobs. they are not paying attention at who you are and what you are but instead the boobs on your chest.

to my point of view is when a person who are hot will attract lots of friend; but the friend around will spend more of their attention on the hotness instead of the character and behaviour.

by the way i recieve a call from HUIYANG about the SNSD concert. die die i must be in the work. i wanna see SNSD live.

i so gonna be the guy who put a spot light on them haha^^

.........................................................................................................

it's close, the date line is near.

2011-11-09T06:22:00.001-08:00

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

uploaded GTA SAN ANDREAS at ma class com; create entertainment in the class, while ma lecturer RAJAH is else where for course.

there's no lecturer there to lecture us, we can have our fun time on the GTA SAN ANDREAS-MULTIPLAYER. kill people in the hood, spraying bullet into people ass.

seeing them running away with their ass bleeding; put smile into ma face. raise up ma artificial dick smacking their butts, letting it bounce like jelly.

fly bye with bullet jumping up their butts. 1st thing come to my sight is; vehicle clash in with enemy spraying UZI up ma ass, making me wanna return fire up their nose.

ma aim is to influence ma whole class to play this game with me, im glad everyone blood thirst for the game i intro; gonna make them join me to have fun.

today suppose to go GYM but in the end i did not make it, same for ma bro. we play GTA when i reach back home till lost track of my time and schedule; wonder how am i gonna up ma size.

today suppose to train my bi sap and back. making sure i can lift people up like no body business, just carry them and go.

by the way i just have ma hair cut.

tommorrow lg, im the guitarist for every lg. day by day i felt even more guilty for not living my life up to standard.

im still used to be worship guitarist. i must not fall to those habit again damn!

i isn't worthy, im worthless as always, through grace and mercy i so called become worthy but not consider at count.

i been reading the audio bible on my MP3; i got the whole book in it. i listen until 2 conrinthians

1 corinthians 7. i listen to this whole book it really prepare me for my unmarried life. this book speak to me; it hinting me to stay on an unmarried. because it's written by paul. it's better not to married.

1 corinthians 7:1-2

1 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:38 Or If anyone thinks he is not treating his daughter properly, and if she is getting along in years (or if her passions are too strong), and he feels she ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. He should let her get married. But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind to keep the virgin unmarried—this man also does the right thing. So then, he who gives his virgin in marriage does right, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.

the last text mention not married is better then marriage; it moved my heart. i gonna meditate those verses; now since my name is PAUL i should start a new and live this way. i seen my self and alot of people out there seeking for those un-lasting things on earth, after seeing 1 guy which i don't want to mention his name; desperately longing for a girl to text, him my discernment telling me that love is not enough for him. i wonder isn't his family always there for him? his dad can come by to drive him back every time, his mom treated him like a king with showering love; but why is he just so long for so much attention and love from people?

despite all the junk he did by playing timer with girls heart and not having self control. giving short of excuses to discriminate his ex-girl friend by saying he wanna concentrate on his studies; but in another hand taker ling other girl.

after see those seeing scene and sensing through my discernment; i felt really disgusted i nearly puke just because of those things. but no matter what i have to forgive him for i did commited a sin in my life, which i don't have the right to cast any 1st stone.

JOHN 8:2-8

2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

< this text keep coming to me countless time, i opened up my bible this appear and i listen to my audio bible it mentioned this again.>

im glad no 1 can kill me for the things i done and i don't have to right to judge anyone, for me who with sin don't have the authority to strike any judgement or accusation toward anyone who sinned.

testing out that desigual hat which given by JABEZ.

wonder what can this hat do? wearing out, i will ended up looking like idiot. who the hell will wear this type of hat in singapore; other then going to the beach.

that's bad i don't have the time to do drawing on the rest of the 2NE1 member. sad!, it think i can start drawing every member on FRIDAY since saturday nothing on in the morning.

.....................................................................................

just another day which outing cancelled pass the day by.

2011-11-08T07:16:00.001-08:00

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

did some drawing on 1 of the 2NE1 member, oh gosh i didn't know my color pencil skill gone already. it's a primary school thing to use color pencil i can't believe i can lost grip of it.

i use the color pencil which jabez gave me, lousy color pencil. i think it is because it dehydrated, due to getting old in years.

if im not wrong that character which i draw is PARK BOM. i can't complete all the member due to getting late i need to sleep early for tommorrow school. today i went to GYM with my bro.

bench press. in the 2ne1 MV: it's hurt. they are well dressed up; look vintage and goth which catch my eye.

i should explore more of their other song. so i can really go and buy their album as collection as a form of supporting.

today suppose to watch movie with TOBIAS at 7.30pm. but TOBIAS message me say cancelled; im thinking damn it. but actually not so bad also i after gym instead of rush to change up for getting for movie; i take my own sweet time go shop at AMK HUB with my bro to buy ingredient to cook for dinner.

chicken breast meat, prawn, potato and spinach (the veg which pop eye loves to eat)

this can be a great combination.

show you the rest of the snap shot:

i have to pick the best out of this 4 to be my main shot.

2 cold shot 2 warm shot.

i should carry on drawing the other 3 more member tommorrow if im not wrong. i don't plan my time that's why i can't garentee.

.....................................................................................

the unchanged heart.

2011-11-07T08:40:00.001-08:00

Monday, November 7, 2011

@SILOSO BEACH!

today went to SENTOSA to have fun, not that fun anyway. kind of suck there, bad memory came to haunt me; i used to work there for S.O.S and event setup guy for various event.

the $2 BUS is no longer available from HARBOUR FRONT to SENTOSA, now the tram is bloody crammed with people. i don't know why singapore always want to make place become so cram, event the MRT and bus already always cram. the road it self already so cram too.

now they so gonna make the SENTOSA tram to be even more cram by removing their $2 bus services. screw those shit man.

today something just keep hinting me which i cannot avoid; i try to run away from those awkwardness by staying away to build SAND CASTLE. i build a freaking long wall of sand and castle around got washed away by the sea due to a sudden high tide rushed up the shore. i was staying cool trying not to get so pissed off; i carry on persisting, by rebuilding it further away from the area where the sea will sudden flush it away.

i build it with all my heart to the extend where i didn't even mix around with my friend. the sea stretched with a stronger flush of water to wash my sand castle away, i was freaking pissed off patheticly. i start looking up to the sky asking with my heart:"what the shit is this, why flush my sand castle away for the 2nd time?" something come to my mind asking me to go apologize and confest my self to that particular person. im thinking in my mind cannot be, it will really be so embarrassing and even much more awkward. i insist in doing that, i will end up becoming like a fool.

so with pride rushing up my brain, i carry on move even further away from the sea to build my sand castle to keep away from those stuff. suddenly the noise of the sea splashing up with wraith which i can feel the anger; i was shock for that moment after constructed my 3rd sand castle larger. the bloody water rushed up to reach my sand castle; everything gone just like that. seriously in my face, i felt really more like a fool; feeling like burrying my head in the sand.

i decided to go swimm and give up building the sand castle, i still insist of facing; so i decided to stay on the water to keep a distance away; the life guard speak through the mega phone giving warning about all the life guard off duty. i just ignore what ever they said i can swim any way why would i need them?

after the floating on the sea; the wave of the sea keep flushing my head down the water, it usually not like that; last time i remember i float on the water for 5 hour that continuous shit did not happen.

i decided to go on shore to join the rest of my friend, suddenly realize JOEL and NIGEL wanting to go wash up; so i take it as an opportunity to stay away from that particular person. but the ipod touch 3 casing is in my bag i suppose to pass it to that particular person, but i dare not.

i think i better stop by here, too much things to share. better not type too much.

something come into my sight that particular person don't need that ipod touch 3 casing, she got something better; so it's a never mind thinging.

what can i do with that casing?: that's what im thinking now.

im really disappointed and confuse some how, my those shit keep coming into my mind. something hinting me to go do something about this stuff. in the same time i afraid that particular person will ended up ignore me or even kill me for that; ended up become more awkward.

haiz! in the end of the day i just did not do anything about it; instead trying to put an act.

i have to really get back in doing drawing, it's a best way to keep away from those thinking. my heart its really constantly never get sick of that particular person; alot of advice given to me:"what you like, go and pursue it! stop wasting time and delaying".

those feelings and liking just never change. it didn't get that constant before, to the extend where i wish my memory can be reset so i won't keep getting confuse over those stuff.

after the SENTOSA and dinner; i went to catch a movie with the rest:

shot of a crappy show; nothing nice about this movie.

overall SINGAPORE horror movie did improve, better the incredible tales and some other singapore horror film.

no choice because it's JING TING birthday so have to be there to celebrate and spend the time. people birthday is something big, if no on celebrate her BIRTHDAY or even be there for her birthday; she will be really sad.

i understand how it feels like that's why my mentality give me those sign. my 21st birthday is not a big 1 idle. 21st birthday it suppose to be a grant 1; now im envy people who have their 21st birthday in a grant way. my this year 21st birthday im working at SUPER JUNIOR concert; thank goodness theres some people supprise me with small cake which im really quite touch.

there's no one else accept for that small group of people, how pathetic it is.

so i must be there for people birthday.

< >

2NE1

i started to get addicted to this MV and the song it hurt by 2NE1, this is really the coolest outfit i ever see by a K-pop or even K band. those style really catch my eye, although i don't understand what ever they sing, but the music goes very sweetly.

i should get a wall papper of this MV.

i so gonna draw that blue hair girl with that black umbrella, so gorgeous.

.....................................................................................

time passed by just like that. fast isn't it?

2011-11-06T01:36:00.001-07:00

Sunday, November 6, 2011

im glad i recover from fever on time, FRIDAY woke up in an afternoon. over slept due to tidy up the damn house.

friday went to JABEZ place with HAFIZ; he came down with his bike. so i bring my BACARDI down; we bought SODA and some other mix etc.

he long pang me over to TOH GUAN RD; long distance in the night. some how scary especially squeeze in between buses and truck, looking at those huge tire i started imagine what if my head goes into that huge spinning tire of a truck or bus?

after all its fun.

who was there on FRIDAY drinking is: HAFIZ, SUHAILA and JABEZ.

blast music get alittle hyper.

hangover from sunday to the next day, SATURDAY: due to taking shots.

woke up feeling my head heavy; felt terrible for awhile. saturday service day, felt so sack don't feel like going out or moving. had my break fast at LONG JOHN SILVER with JABEZ.

after everything head down to TECK WHYE to wash up and change; to head down for service.

after service hang out with ma group member; that saturday is the last day of the MACDONALD MONO POLY thinging. we accumulate our instant win:

exchange all the instant win we got for those stuff, not so bad.

hanged the night off again. watched TINTIN:

great movie; exciting, adventurous, great story line which supremely indescribable, only can be watched with your eye, to know the supremacy of it.

journey to explore treasury and historical wonders.

illusual view of early intelligence living. where library is relied then compute technology.

worth watching it; it's a great classic comic story renewed and projected into 3d form.

after the movie ended hanged around to get something to drink, roaming around the early morning. when the movie ended it was 4AM+ close to 5AM. raining continuously non stop wonder why? any way MRT or BUS is coming so don't have to take cab. money saved.

head back home it was SUNDAY already.

reached back home go out for PRATA for breakfast, before the break fast played GTA SAN ANDREAS multiplayer online:

this is the example to show how the game play like, when i just enter into the game there's gun firing around with lots of havoc.

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went to simei ite for career fare and LG.

2011-11-03T11:58:00.001-07:00

Thursday, November 3, 2011

today didn't get any better, fever got but something left which i not sure what exactly it's a hurt on my head causing me to felt really weak. while on my way walking from SIMEI ITE to the mrt station the sickness trigger up my nerve; causing me to had a difficult time making my way to the mrt station. but i endure through with HUI YANG.

while walking that long distance i sweated out cold sweat; which i touch my for head to my neck feeling the coldness. i thinking why am i palely cold blooded, am i suppose to have fever? im still wonder what is a sign given from a cold sweat; will i die of that?

been cleaning up my living room and kitchen; maintain the cleanliness.

actually today there's a career workshop open in SIMEI ITE; school provide a transport bus to there. i head there for awhile look around; realize there's nothing much. nothing interesting.

not gonna hang there any longer; afraid the rule there strictly catching people.

head home after everything to prepare for LG. it didn't really turn out good.

snab a photo using my mac book photo booth:

actually the piece of thing i holding is my IRIVER MP3 player, i bought it since 5 years ago, it's really loyal MP4 player; i remember it had been washed in a washing machine before; but it still survive. im so touch by it spirit.

it run using AAA battery, but i don't have any of it so i decided to find a method to run using AA battery; so what exactly i did is simple, just tape the safety pin with black tape on the AA battery to make locate a pointing strip to link to the MP3.

it really work; i just wanna check out what song is inside; forgotten what song had i uploaded in. it had been years. but there's no firmilier song inside. there's only filled with KOREAN POP tracks; making me wonder who will it be uploading all this type of song. 100% is my sister; but the song sounds not bad. i started to like it.

...........................................................................

went to POLYCLINIC @ ANG MO KIO

2011-11-02T06:51:00.001-07:00

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

hmm..! im having fever since yesterday, i don't know why life that suck. i not sure is is fever wonder why does it hurt my head. im not sure is it migrant or something?

hope i can get well soon, i just got MC from poly clinic. waited 2hour+ just to consult a doctor haiz..!

i don't think poly clinic is a place for sick patient, where on earth such thing as letting a sick patient waited this long? it's more like a place for people to fake an MC instead.

wait for long whole hour for the shake of consulting a doctor.

yesterday i felt even more terrible, the pain on my head is active to the extend where i can't even think or move about.

wonder why the doctor cant provide MC for yesterday? i need MC to cover yesterday and today.

........................................................................

nothing much to update.

2011-10-31T12:36:00.001-07:00

Monday, October 31, 2011

nothing much to update about for today. woke up at teck whye head to school without using a mobile phone due to my battery is flat. no 1 can reach me through phone. glad i manage to get through it.

hmm..! i have to think what to post here.

oh yeah after school hang out with LE CHUAN at tampines area; head down to TAMPINES PLAZA to look for ASIASOFT PASSPORT head quarter. i suppose to go there to claim my AP account back but ended up getting scolding from the staff there; seriously screw their service man.

can't they speak properly?

i been serving the net on weird stuff like evilness of human being; i don't have to post here you can go search google for: Junko Furuta. The girl who went through 44 days of torture.

after reading through this article my heart started to be filled with angle and revenging spirit. seriously although i know i can't blame the whole japan but my brain keep wising for japan to get more disaster due to those culprit simply being set free just like that. just a sentence to prison? where's the death sentence for them?

raping and over extreme bullying sentence to prison and set free?

this is what i see through the net punishment that will toture them all. dragging the saw slicing them slowly by slowly letting the blood spill from the ass to their head.

making sure their voice is screaming out loud; should be sweetly terrifying scream in order for justice to be realistic.

i wish to hear the culprit creaming voice for me to have a good sleep.

seriously that's show how cruel human can be; ignorant, heartless, making other suffer for their own pleasure. that's why people like ADOLF HITLER exist; he used to got bullied and he experience alot of bully. he see it with his eye how terrible bullies can be; thats drive him to take revenge. there's a reason why he's a vegetarian; he don't kill animal but human instead.

i think the posibility is he want to end human existence, he's so filled with madness that drive him to seek this type of revenge. i suspect he wanna lead his fellow german to conquer the whole world and give peace to the nature and lead everyone to be a vegetarian that harm no animal. another posibility is he gonna lead his fellow german to kill everyone and last he gonna gas all his own people and kill himself; to end all human existence. that's what i think so.

but im some how understand why hitler become a beast. thanks to the bullies and rapist that exist without getting killed or punish accordingly.

there will sure to be a up coming now hitler will rise up, no 1 know who. the world is just getting close to human ending.

if god is human he could have got into a bulimic due to vomiting everyday due to seeing how disgusting human being are. he been enduring through the long decade of years for his true human being to gather for salvation, he been enduring seeing all the other rest of the disgusting human being. he wanna refine the true human out of the disgusting human. he will dunk all the disgusting human to satan, because satan the demon love the disgusting human so much which he can't bare to go hell without them all.

so cannot blame god, he don't send the disgusting human to hell he only look for the real person who love them which is satan.

there's alot of cruel act which all done by human, HAITIAN and INDONESIA ZOMBIFICATION, heard of it go do research. how they force feed another human with drugs that causes suffering.

making dead body walk to their own grave can you believe it? a body which decomposed get up and walk to their own grave. learn to be hero instead of a bully, if everyone build up the spirit of the hero the world will be so much safer. every hero will team up and hunt down all the bullies and rapist. the hero will bring justice apond them by punishing them. bullies deserve what they do to others. those who show mercy and grace deserve mercy and grace.

for that cruel case, there's no mercy or even grace in it. so they deserve to be punish like the photo that displayed above.

i think i should stop by here.

< >

do you feel confuse or lost wondering? just speak it out and you will find the correct answer which will lessen your confusion.

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felt left out; method to get into topic.

2011-10-30T07:03:00.001-07:00

Sunday, October 30, 2011

now i didn't do any drawing due to my phone battery flat; couldn't snap any photo of the drawing. by the way i don't have anything to update for today, although im free today.

i dawn over from the saturday till today morning. heading down to teck whye to have my good long sleep. spend the night away fellowshipping with my group member and the rest. yesterday is ESS theme is: LIFE AT STARBUCK. abit stupid some how.

something to share:

this photo is something which i saw it by coincident. there's lots of famous people displayed in this landscape picture.

i just can't really identify everyone in this picture. all i know they are just people who got into the history and also topic to be talk about it.

topic come in many form. how you wanna update your self with the requirement.

actually come to a group gathering and chat; frankly speaking im always the 1 who will always get left out.

sometime do you ever feel outcast or lonely among the peer around you? did you ever wonder why?

in the group; there's lot of different kind of people with different interest and ideal of things. this may not happen to some of you; maybe because you are loud spoken or entertaining. that's good for you cheer!

but this is only for people who experience what i refer to.

no matter how those moment of getting left out in topic and chat; 1 thing never lost grip of who you are. never try to be someone else; it will ruin things up in a long run. it will gonna be real disappointing which you can never imagine it.

to my experience what i used to do before is really a foolish act: everyone of my peer gathers; there's some people who are loud spoken and crappy which attract much more attention. never feel left out; it's just a short moment which last for awhile.

im just so tempted to do foolish stuff which will attract attention. it's really foolish it gonna be. im really glad i did not do it due to my observation around; seeing some particular person did it which attract people's attention for just a short period of time. ended up his reputation is completely ruined; get this clear i did not mean he's beyond hope. there's still way to be short out.

that's what i see it with my naked eye; self control is what i can suggest. you can attract attention only if you really need it. there's a necessary and a unnecessary attention to be magnetized.

sometime if you wanna get into the topic there's certain requirement. just like getting work done; tool is what it's needed.

what i can advice here is; update your self with knowledge. flexibility of linking the particular topic into what ever you know; making sure it's as close as possible in the same time you can introduce the subject that involved in your topic.

another risky move is making a joke out of their topic; that's commonly used by hooligans, which is not really a good ideal. observe weather that particular person can take that joke.

chatting in a group is like a poll. listening ear and attention is drawn; base on how interesting your subject is. what i did in a pass is; trying to make those sickening boring time comes to pass, is by taking out my anti social device like my MAC BOOK, IPHONE, DRAWING NOTE PAD or even walk way. those method doesn't solve anythings.

getting into a conversation CONFIDENT, LISTENING EAR, TROLL FACIAL SMILE EXPRESSION, BODY POSTURE & SENSE OF HUMOR is needed. i gonna share to you how to be confident in conversation; firstly listening ear plays apart as well. listen and observe what they talks about give a most attentive present smile which will brighten the people around you. firstly people will gain see a light in you where their eye will naturally draw towards you. after through the process of listening you can act as confident as you can like as if you are there involve in their sharing(ALTHOUGH YOU ARE NOT SURE WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT). you need to work and try real hard to convince them that you know what they talking about.

that's where you can bomb a word which make it sounds that you are really there experience what they share about it.

do remember give them chance to talk as well, when their talking listen carefully what their topic; just smile and knock your head like as if you strongly agree. but be wise not everything is agreeable.

im sure you are not getting a fool out of your self. the picture of the smilling guy is refer to a troll smile im talking about, i don't think he's charming of having a pleasing look to me but he's smile just makes my day just by looking at his crappy smile. that's how you should smile when come to a conversation. it's depend, don't give such smile when the topic is about their social circle funeral.

i hope that will help you. you can exercise on the mirror how to smile like that. till you get the hand of it.

the power of that face is where you can never tell weather he's angry or sad; he just look ridiculously happy. you can try starring at that face to catch any spot where will tell is he angry or sad?

.....................................................................................

SAI KANG

2011-10-28T11:25:00.001-07:00

Friday, October 28, 2011

hmm..! i so freaking sick of typing down the story line. today i end school at 9AM start 8AM for SPORT AND WELLNESS; damn this is my 1st time going S&W for this year. my attendent 0% for S&W. MR JOHN LEONG; had a talk with me about S&W regarding my attendent.

he's really nice; he give me chance for me to clear all those task which i own for S&W. so i gonna catch things up.

today ended school real early; im still not on a proper sleep yet; head getting real heavy. reached back home still can't be able to sleep due to need to clear those mess which im called to get it done by my dad. seriously thanks to my GRAND MOTHER; she mess up the kitchen. i have to shot things up; not a simple cleaning to do.

her wet cloth accumulate with her mass uses of water causing water to leak down to the cabinet below my kitchen tap; the wooden cabinet corroded by long term absorption of water. there's turmite infestation and mess numbers of coackroaches egg infesting from the inner wood to the exterior. now the situation here is; im not just doing house chore but instead; PEST EXTERMINATOR, DEMOLISHING ROTTEN CABINET.

the worst is the cabinet rot the the extend where brown dusty liquid keep flowing out to mess up my kitchen floor with wooden chip and muddy looking stuff to the extend where my whole kitchen floor couldn't be recognize.

i use my bare hand grab up all those shitty wood rush out to dunk it while rushing out brown dirty liquid leak through out the path; where i have to wipe those shit up after dunking the mess. those mess give me a headache. when im lifting up all the stacked rotten wet wood how exactly it feels like is: when i lift it up man hand keep contact with the disgusting rotten wood which i feel the crackness of the cockroach eggs and muddy brown liquid flowing and wet my hand with black liquid.

my heand turn black to the extend where darker then a indian or even a black man. the wood smells like crap; cockroach and shit smell.

after clearing those mess up; i actually use a water host to spray all over my kitchen ground to flood it with water follow by using feb (laundry washing powder) skater it all over the ground. quickly take out the brush stick to scrap the whole kitchen floor. scrap it as white as possible.

after the scrap; another round of water host flush the floor pushing all the alkaline and shit down the drain; make sure no dots of dust is allow. continuously flushing and flood my kitchen floor; till the pool of water look clear, making sure no dot of any dust of black stuff around.

later on took out a wiper to push all the water down the drain. bought disposable cleaning material to spam all over my kitchen item around; throw all the disgusting looking things away. make sure my kitchen look a fine as it can be.

after everything carry on with washing all the fan and house keeping.

how exactly suck is it can u imagine? im suppose to be meeting my friend to hang out; because today is friday i suppose to have fun to hang the night off; end up i miss everything. my friend hanged out while im confined by those task to be done.

msn really disappoint me; both hotmail account gone!! i think msn doesn't want me to use it; so i have to move on to GMAIL.

google rocks seriously.

oh yeah i actually didn't update my blog yesterday, it's because im carry on with my story typing of the MUD DEMON; im kind of sick and tired of typing down. take up alot of time and space.

i did a drawing of it with pencil again, to show how exactly MAKO take harvest lumber with his wizard ability:

i think i should continue the story in a conclusion way instead of a walk through. if were to walk through i think the sun could have been risen up.

the story i type until SARAH woken up from a terrible nightmare and she later on realize MAKO return safe and sound which causes her a relief.

MAKO found the location of the portal for the MUD DEMON to be send back; through the process of solving the problem their obviously feeling with develop. facing tough time with the other party will draw them closer.

they go through lots of disaster just to lure the MUD demon to the area where it 1st stepped in to this dimension. the duration from SARAH 1st step in into the dimension to the mud demon return back to it dimension; it takes 3months for them to solve it.

lots of trap and boundary have to be setup up which takes times for them to do it.

the MUD demon arrive when the sun set; the right timing which they figure it out is sending the mud demon back when the sun rise. which they figure it out by collecting sample of the MUD DEMON mud stain and place it on the located area where it 1st arrive.

through the process when the MUD DEMON got lured to the returning spot; the glory hole is formed to flush down the mud demon like a black hole.

few minute after the MUD DEMON raptured. the network begin to link MAKO FOX to their present DIMENSION; where MAKO and his FOX reunite, MAKO shared tears of joy hugging his FOX. the last moment where MAKO keep a constant eye contact with SARAH wondering is this really their last moment together?

the task of DIMENSION error had been solved; the gate begin to open for every individual to return back home to their dimension. MAKO face expression changed, he reached his hand to grab SARAH hand tightly saying:"i never love and long to protect anyone so deeply till i met you". SARAH inch here head toward looking at her own hand which hold by MAKO hand with her tears dripping down onto their hand for their last moment.

SARAH misses MAKO so much where she hugged MAKO and their last moment of deep kiss begin. MAKO last word is:"those memory of our love will be tattoo deep in my heart, i treasure every moment with you till every obstacle and though time is like a joy instead; because you are with me". SARAH got deeply moved her last word before the separation for their return:"every thing seems so lost in this world till i met you, i don't know what can replace this love? wish the universe will give us another task and chance to meet again. MAKO! i LOVE you!". their surrounding goes brighter with a strong spin of wind rush around them which 2 different portal appear to vacuum them. the gravity turns 0 where both of them floated up which their body goes real light.

their eye lost sight of each other, the last things to dwell is their voices before the sound of the voice muted.

SARAH back home, at her bed room; every moment is like a dream. she was really shock tears flow down of her eye, thinking why would she cry over such dream? she look into the mirror seeing her cloth and her messy hair realize it wasn't a dream; quickly she took out her journal to read through; everything is real. she saw her sketch of MAKO on her journal.

after a second her mom came in the room with tear on her eye, screamed out with concern:"where have you been..? i been searching around for months just to look for you, how could you even leave without a word instead causing me to live a sorrowful life". SARAH don't know how to explane to her mom about it.

how's MAKO? hmm....! back to MOUNT BREATHLAND with his fox? met his master?

i can't believe conclusion can be this long. im suck seroiusly

show you all the try of snap shot on my drawing:

i always give alot of shot to pick which is the best shot; the best will be my main.

...........................................................................

another drawing with PENCIL.

2011-10-25T11:57:00.001-07:00

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

hm..! today woke up in peace; without any worry of late for school because there's no school for today and tomorrow deepavali dey...!

but kind of bored today; woke up at 3PM+ burn off my morning just like that. nevermind still did spend my time properly went to eat dinner at ANG MO KIO ASTON with CHING CHYE and HUI YANG. had my midium rare SIRLOIN.

i did a drawing, i trying to place emotion in this drawing but it look real stupid instead haha feel like laughing.

there's a story line in it:

(i gonna represent a row as SARAH in this story.)

im SARAH AGE 18 living in KICK WOOD STREET, living with my mom; in my house whole, there's only the both of us.

if you wonder where's my dad; he gone some where since i was 3. don't have to feel sorry for me i don't feel a thing; because it was a real long ago incident which i wasn't mature enough to feel any concious. so i didn't really feel sad or mad about it.

im known as a MISS INVISIBLE in school; there's only 2 person who got a special glass to see me. which is my best friend BELLA and TOM; they where my best friends, we are from the same class for years. they are such a nice friend i ever got on planet earth.

this is just a description to introduce myself.

One fine morning im woken up by the glare of the sun light shining through my room window toward my face. woken up by a brightness which trigger a nudge of pain on my head. opened up my eye stoned for a second looking into the clock: OH NO! it's alredy 9AM im so dead; today is my school trip to the RAINFOREST, isn't im super excited for it?, yet i'm still woke up late, im so screwed up.

quickly i rush and pack up my stuff, have a quick wash up and change. rushing out of my house without a eye on my breakfast. with fear of missing the bus; quickly i pick up the bicycle and cycle as fast as i can. glad the school is near ahead; quickly i paddle on the bicycle to accelerate up the speed.

finally im there, with confusion and lost wonder where do the class gather?. quickly i place my hand in my pocket to search for my phone; realize i left my phone at home, im screwed up seriously. only solution left is search around for them.

See no firmilier faces around; quickly look around to get a hint of where their location. i just couldn't find it; with frustration and piss i lost my control on manner. feeling real awkward everyone around is looking at my red angry face; how awkward.

suddenly saw BELLA and TOM; they are like a guardian angel who there for me. they tilted their head towards my direction; with a most glamorous smile coming from their face. it's really a relief, i shouting over with excitement;"arh..! you guys are really my saviour".

their faces started to change look at my with a crunch expression, i don't have to ask why?; oops! they must be thinking that im crazy.

BELLA started spoken to me:" hey SARAH! i suggest you should sell away your phone, i just couldn't reach you through that" and with agreement TOM said to me:"SARAH! we thought you're dead".

im glad of their concern; i ex-plane what exactly happen. so quickly we rush down to the bus to make our trip to the rainforest things.

passing by lots of beautiful scenery.

after a hour of bus, we landed on a area where the ferry located. seeing the QUEUE at the ferry yard; making me feel so excited. smelling the sea and the breeze; so refreshing. hear voices of seagulls screaming; makes my day.

hearing explanation from the teacher; boring is all about it.

can't wait to take the ferry, soon will get to explore the rainforest. before entering to the ferry, TOM nudged me saying:"what a boring place thought it will be fun, all the while i been excited for nothing? lets go get some snack and drink"

im agree some word from him, quickly we rush to the shop to store our bag with foods and drink. im wonder will there be any things to eat at the rainforest beside; maggots and bugs. i won't be able to eat those stuff anyway, so storing up food from the shop will be the best choice.

glad BELLA brought along a huge bag.

took the ferry across the sea, feeling the wind and the air that far away from any road; making me felt assure that there's no exhaust air around here. taken a deep breath and feel the clean air.

finally reached the rainforest FERRY YARD after a long trip of ferry. the sky turning dark; wonder where will we settle down?. we're guide by the scout; to tour around the scout camp where we settle down.

hearing the talk from the chief scout, TOM whisper at my ear with a gossip saying :"that chief scout got a fat tummy wonder how can he scout around with that?". im thinking TOM wasn't even listening to the talk, it understandable.

the talk is so long and boring to the extend where im about to doze off anytime. BELLA requested among us:"hey! why not we go out for a stroll instead of staying around this boring scout camp? we ask for an excuse to the wash room". it's really a good ideal to me.

we decided to head to the wash room. what an interesting water tap they got; it got a long handle bar, wonder how does it work? try push up the handle bar nothing came out and i try pulling it down, same goes nothing is happening.

im wondering how to dispend water from this damn weird tap, suddenly BELLA came after her use of the cubicle she also wondering the same thing as me. we have to try figure it out how does the water gonna dispend out?

BELLA continuously shake the handle bar of the water tap; it flow out with water finally. so that's how the scout water tap works. we started laughing over the water tap.

BELLA went out of the lady wash room to find TOM. left with me im looking at the mirror, refreshing myself by splashing water to my face thinking: im now already at the RAINFOREST, wonder what gonna be next? hope things will turn out fun and exciting.

suddenly hear a voice of exhaustion, wonder where does it come from; i looked around seeing no one. that's really creepy; i rush out of the wash room with fear. was shocked by BELLA, asking me what happen?. "never mind"; i replied.

TOM saying:"lets go" we secretly left the scout camp to take a look around the rainforest. it was a blue night looking up the sky it filled with plentiful of stars.

a word from BELLA:"beautiful.....!" it caught my eye and heart. it's really amazing the moon light up the plant with a glow blue breeze which amaze me through my eye to heart. what im thinking now is nothing but a beautiful late evening scenery.

i decided to walk further down; saw a rock laying on a field of grass, there's a fox seated right on top the rock. wonder how exactly does it look like; i took a closer step toward the fox wanting to ask TOM and BELLA to look. but they wasn't around. i should take the chance to look at the fox before it ran off.

the fox looked up the sky; making me wonder what does it look at?. i look up the same direction as the fox see the moon lighting down with a orbs of air dancing around; bring a spark onto my eye. it's just so beautiful, the same voices of a exhaustion came across my ear, i was shock looked toward the fox; it ran off i decided to follow the fox wonder where does it ran to.

the exhausted voice bothering me, it's really creepy. so i decided not to chase after that fox, it's pointless any way. i should go back to find BELLA and TOM; see no sign of them.

i shouted out their name to call them:"BELLA.....! TOM.......! where are you? i saw a fox just now...!". no 1 seems to reply, im thinking how can they leave me alone here; i decided to head back to the scout camp.

wonder where's the scout camp, im seems to be lost in such place. i felt really scared with cold sweat flowing down my neck, felt really panic. quickly ran around to look for the scout camp. see no one around, im really lost.

the sky turned dark, it's no longer evening; it's a complete night. i shouldn't be hanging around here, it's real dangerous. could have just stay near the scout camp instead of ran of some where, now im lost and there's no 1 out there to respond to me.

suddenly felt the ground shaking like im gonna sink down any time; it's horrifying. quickly i ran away blindly with fear to avoid danger. there's countless of mud rising up from the ground lifting up the plant. it formed into a figure of a weird looking creature with red eye roaring out a voice of a distorted celo. it give me a wave of fear; where my feet started trembling.

nothing i can do but just ran, there's countless of figure forming up a mess number of mud army. i just couldn't escape from it; it keep chasing after me the the extend where im gonna run out of breath any time.

through the continuous run i started to feel real exhausted, felt like there's no hope for me to escape left. suddenly a hand came by and grab onto my hand real tight and swing me up the tree to make an escape from tree to tree. it was a fine looking guy came by to rescue me, i look at his eye; it give a mysterious feature that melt my heart. wonder is he TARZEN? no he's not even a naket guy; he's definitely not TARZEN.

he appear so sudden like a hero rescuing me from those unknown stuff. when his hand grab onto my it make me felt real light, where running is like flying to me.

he brought me to a sea where a boat is located, he bring me to the boat and sail a distance away from the ground. his boat look interesting, there's a room in the boat where book shelf and furniture is around. he seated on the rocking chair of his boat with his eye closed. he didn't say a word at all, im wondering who is he?

with his eye closed meditating make him look much more mysterious; i look around seeing weird looking tools around making me wonder is he some kind of a wizard or something?

with a sudden, a word from him came out:"are you hurt or injured?" i replied:"im fine thanks!" he started introducing him self. he's MAKO from MOUNT BREATHLAND; where wizard and mage lives. he was lost from his dimension to this unknown dimension; through the travel in the sea, he was blinded by the sudden mist of the sea and lad him to his unknown dimension.

i started sharing to him how i get here. realized we both are from a different world lost in this dimension.

MAKO find no clue in getting back. he look real interesting where no race of human can descript him, wonder what race he's.

so he started to figure out how does he been lad here? through his meditation he see sign of reason that he's here, it's not an accident; there's something screwed up with the universe; where all the different planet from far away orbit different orbit collide with error, the gate of different world will build a network of entry to all different world. chaos of war among different world will happen, they are send here to solve and disconnect the the entry.

i was shock after hearing that message, so wonder how can it be solved; i wanna go home. i can't stay here for the rest of my life, i miss my friend and my mom, i felt real sad and confuse. misery is what i felt; it create a falling of tears out of my eye.

MAKO persuade me with a word:"that's not gonna solve a thing" we have to work things out. i wonder how are we gonna solve this?

this place is dangerous, it filled with monster. i couldn't even tell that im lad here.

all i remember is i roam around the rainforest with a friends of my and now they are not even around. wonder are they lad here too?

wait! hold on a minute; wonder am i lad here by a FOX? with astonishment he replied:"that fox? how does it look like? does it have a symbol on it fall head?"

i just couldn't exactly remember about that, a similar symbol of tattoo on MAKO arms? i think it's definitely the fox MAKO refer to what else can it be. why can't it be a tiger or a rain deer; why must it be a fox?

that fox is belong to MAKO as a pet, it was lad to the dimension where i belong to. that FOX is the key for me to be lad back home and idle TOM or BELLA is lad to MOUNT BREATHLAND where MAKO lives. that's really confusing, the mud demon does not belong here the mud demon should be lad back to it own dimension for everything to be solve.

im wonder how can the mud demon be lad back? there's countless of it.

MAKO said:" we shouldn't do nothing about it, we will end up staying here for the rest of our life. we should get back to find out what exactly it's".

so MAKO decided to explore for a solution to send the mud demon back to it dimension, through the whole process they actually realized the weakness of the mud demon.

MAKO pointed out all the weakness of the MUD DEMON; asking me for request of ideal on how to set a trap that lad the MUD DEMON back to it dimension.

so my ideal is to lure the mud demon to an area where it will be surrounded by water; it just require lots of effort to setup those trap. so we decided to hunt for wood to create a container of bearer which can store up water.

so we decided to look for a location where tree are near to the sea; where escape root to the boat is convenient. MAKO got a wizard ability to cause a beam of slashes like a blade without any sharp object; it can cut through all kinds of material.

found a particular spot, MAKO start using his ability to cast a fury of slash wave across the forest where tree's fell on the ground, i started dragging he tree to 1 corner carving it into a precast piece to form into an storing object for water.

MAKO was wondering where's the portal that will lad the MUD DEMON back to it dimension?. so it caused me to puzzle about it and MAKO raised up his hand and cast the wind to form up a shoe for him, the wizardry aura caused a wave of wind rushed across my neck; where disturben of sand is bothering my eye.

MAKO take a stair of step up the air; where he air walk up the air with his wind shoe. im seriously amaze by those mysterious ability he got when he run up the air he was flying without a wind. im totally speechless wondering am i dreaming; do those things really exist?

MAKO looked down towards me with his eye twinkling to me, with a rush of wind rush up his hair with a charm that caught my eye i felt really impress by his impulsiveness.

he shout out a word with his gentle fine voice saying:"stay at the boat, im heading up the air to scout for a mark where the MUD demon left behind". his concern is like a pure hero; we talk for less than a day and he got a natural intention of protecting me. things come into my mind asking me to stay focus and concentrate on getting what suppose to be done instead of dwelling in such feelings.

so i decided fill up all the wooden container with sea water and stack up into a wall, before he got back.

MAKO made his way around to look for hint and clue on where the 1st mark which left by the MUD DEMON, trace after the MUD STAIN that left by the MUD DEMON, i storing up sample into his glass container; to make a comparison to every substance that left behind by the MUD DEMON.

he hopping air to air like a wind jumper, he saw a long path of stain that lad to the area; where the MUD DEMON 1st step into this dimension. he saw a twisted mark on the ground which formed into a figure of a glory hole.

im done stacking up a wooden container of water into a wall. after a long hour had passed by; i get back to the boat to wait for MAKO return. i started to felt really sick and tired of waited i dozed of to sleep. through the sleep some shot of a random dream came by showing me sign of MAKO return with half of his body went missing, where blood and mud stain covering up his face where i chouldn't even recognize by his face. with fear and worry that drive me panic, quickly i ran toward him and give him what ever i can that will aid him, i quickly dig up my bag for my 1st aid box to clean his wounded body up with alcohol and cotton.

he was screaming terrifyingly with pain, with an unexpected grief that caughted up my mind; sorrow possessed up my soul which trigger my tears to flow down of my eye. after a drip of tears hit the ground; MAKO on a sudden stone with his eye opening up firmly, i nudged him but he isn't moving. i grip on to his hand; feeling the coldness and stained wet hand which show sign of he's dead.

im totally infested with a sudden depressing situation which make me felt real helpless; my soul caused me to disbelieve that he's dead. i give him a continuous nudge and feel the heart bit on his chest giving a negative hint. a sudden choke on his neck which trigger his throat muscle to move with a squeecking noice; he vomited out mud. i was totally shock by this moment of hopelessness; seeing the mud forming up into a figure of a MUD DEMON.

fear tremble me to woke up with shock from the nab, i was stunned for awhile thinking is it just a dream or a sign?

i felt really worry quickly i run out to the shore, suddenly felt a wind that blow toward my face with chilled up my sweat; giving me sign of MAKO returns show him came back with a fine looking smile on his face which gave me a relief. i was really thankful and so glad that he's doing fine; he look just as happy with a same twink on his eye which brighten up my day from the terrible night mare.

i couldn't resist it all i feel like is to hug him. with his unexplainable facial expression; it caused a blush on his face which toned up his face with redish. im some how felt awkward and sorry for giving such unthinkable reaction.

he placed his arm on my back waist, which cheer me up with his chilling long sleeves. love his fine material of cloth.

(i think i should stop by here, im tired of typing; continue some other time)

< >

that's the rest of the snapshot.

out of 4, 1 is the best.

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felt relief after doing that drawing and GYM.

2011-10-24T08:11:00.001-07:00

Monday, October 24, 2011

went to school today; it was great haha. good news from lecture that tommorrow class canceled. everyone rejoice with a cheer.

the moment the lecture said:"class listen up there's a bad new for tommorrow, class will be canceled". everyone was so happy love that bad news. that's the awesome bad news.

by the way after school went back home straight, class ended 5PM reached home 6PM+ close to 7PM.

my bro called me along to GYM; we train chest today. BENCH PRESS! i realize im damn weak when ever i do bench press. the weight pull my guards and pride down. tell me that im freaking weak, im so damn pissed off. i gonna push up those load again, gonna build my self up.

no to cigarette, it gonna affect alots of my life.

show you my drawing for today, i been practicing how to use pencil to draw. i loose a hand of pencil; im so gonna get it back.

i draw a rainforest:

i draw it out with my feeling, that's refer to my mood and thinking. try guest it out what i exactly feeling right now.

i express my yesterday emotion to this drawing, today im actually emotionally down. felt real awkward.

i still not statisfied with my this drawing, due to it proportion error. i really got a long way to buck up.

show you the rest of the snab shot:

have to keep taking to pick the best shot out of it. keep blurring out; irritating.

.............................................................................................

misery life is what life all about to me.

2011-10-23T08:47:00.001-07:00

Sunday, October 23, 2011

i can't deny the fact that i felt real empty, how i try to fill that emptiness with stuff but, it just doesn't work. still i felt real empty wonder why.

i heart missing someone, i bought the IPOD touch 3 Casing wanting to pass to a friend of my but i dare not; i saw her holding her IPOD touch 3 which already have a red casing on it.

i bought a purple casing for her but, ended up i dare not pass it to her. that's really screwed.

i now holding on to the casing wonder what am i gonna do with it? im suppose to be passing it to her but; now she already got 1 red 1. felt really stucked.

by the way today is the end time course, not so bad. not everything can be taken.

JING MEI show me her SKETCH BOOK, filled with her childhood drawing look real funny and cute. she ask me to fill it with drawing so i decided to sketch things out randomly with my heart:

so i pictured out a rain forest in my mind and try to fill it up with animal; but with misery it blocked up my vission. i nearly draw the one i misses out; thank goodness i didn't draw it out.

so instead i draw man with a hat looking up the water fall; seeing the rain deer.

i never been using pencil to draw for real long; been using pen all the time. now i try to get back long lost habit of using pencil to draw.

realize pencil is a good tool to use then pen. pencil tone can be control instead of a pen.

overall i still prefer using pen to draw.

coincidently JING MEI can relate with the rain deer; she tell me that it remind her of her dream which made her tears. so im kind of amaze. i that's a compliment.

by the way her child hood drawing is kind of random: she draw her mom, which make me laugh. i should have take picture and share it.

i should start practicing using pencil. i set my mind to keep drawing non stop; life is sucks any way. no where i can go or even travel; drawing gonna fill up my life, which i can express it out.

sharing to people it doesn't help much, drawing it out is really a relief.

all the snapshot i made:

been trying to take photo of it but failed all the time.

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just a pathetic day

2011-10-18T14:47:00.001-07:00

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

manage to fix my labtop: the big problem it used to be.

desktop icon not on target. been searching through the net how to solve those shit; he gave me an ideal on deleting the old administrator user and create 1 new 1 and log on the new administrator user; problem lies with a small hidden file in the previous admin profile.

so in that case i create the new admin user 1st before i delete the previous admin user.

now my WINDOW BOOTCAMP on my macbook pro look so much more tidy and neat.

that's the theme i changed, trying to make as gorgeous as possible.

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reconstruct the earth into heaven; is it really possible?

2011-10-17T11:53:00.001-07:00

Monday, October 17, 2011

show you what i draw today:

today went to school late; class start at 8 i reached at 1pm+. my lecture MR RAJAH is care free; that's the good point.

today ended at 4pm+ suddently don't feel like going back home. instead i head down to TECK WHYE to find my mom.

think about it i realize i got a difficulty drawing: screw my mind, screw my hand. im wonder why i loose grip of it. lost hand of it really a quick.

i didn't draw for quit long; long before i even went of the THAILAND trip. now having such difficulty.

what i trying to draw is the description of the millennial kingdom; wonder how does earth turn into heaven. it kind of weird; heaven will come down to earth?

i thought heaven is located a another DIMENSION; wonder why do the end time course talks about the day of the millennial kingdom come; where the earth will be restore to a beautiful heaven. im actually thinking how disgusting the earth gonna be in future, it kind of turn me off making me wonder how can such a disgusting planet gonna be heaven.

im thinking if earth is heaven i will rather go hell. i been doing research on JESUS will come back the 2nd time with the group of his partner to restore the earth. (reconstruct is what people explane to me)

human mind really limited; they use word that can never descript how it's. so i trying to go beyond word to descript isn't it like that?

it mention in the BIBLE the son of man with the 7 lamb stand. could it be like that?

im thinking reconstruct can it be like that? refer to the drawing:

i been trying to imagine how it gonna look like turning the earth into heaven?

with my human limited mind causes me to sketch it out.

the end time course place alot of ? in my mind.

.....................................................................................

my brain and pride will drive me to walk away; but my heart will still stay on the same. it takes lots of damage for the heart to be changed.

2011-10-16T11:23:00.001-07:00

Sunday, October 16, 2011

this picture of the cloud is taken from the PLANE; THAI AIR WAY flight. i miss THAILAND and the sky. memory.

today it's a END TIME course day; went for a talk about end time. the time will just end but the world will never end.

there's restoration on the way to earth; if im not wrong maybe PLANET NIBIRU is the restoration for earth? it seems to be lots of resource. that's what i think so, not garentee.

the day of the millennium come. long way for god to be seen.

take place at SIM AVE 160 if im not wrong.

with TOBIAS and the rest. after everything went to meet JABEZ to spend time with her; she give me alot of her time and her space. so i cannot left her out; as a friend i should be a greatful 1.

loyal friend deserve loyal treatment.

< >

i craving for xiao long bao; the dumpling with soup inside; bite and feel the juiciness, is what i feel like. cracing for it. just now i eat DIMSUM alone at some where SIM AVENUE. it build my craving up.

i suddently got a strong craving for DIM SUM and PRAWN CHING CHEONG FUN. craving for the crunchy prawn which i long for.

wonder who gonna call me out for that?

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hate me just say straight; don't have to come out with those tactic to chase me away; i got leg to walk away my self.

2011-10-15T14:46:00.001-07:00

Saturday, October 15, 2011

never update for days and weeks; due to lots of things happening and busy.

1 reason is im back to be a cook at BUFFET TOWN:

that how exactly the uniform look like; i still prefer the SHOKUDO time japanese cook uniform.

this time round is buffet; cooking spree. endless cooking due to keep have to top up the buffet tray.

medium rare beef, sambal sea food, sausage and lots more. im glad i manage to adapt to the new recipe fast. but how ever i didn't really feel like going back work; my motivation gone totally. no longer find any purpose in it.

i still so long to discover more about food and cooking.

i didn't really have the time to update finish all the THAILAND PHOTO: gonna wait for JABEZ TAN to done with uploading all the photo; in order for me to update it here.

my case is; i wanna update all in 1 shot.

by the way today is service day; kind of not bad thank god for VINCENT CHIN,KELVIN VIOLET TAN, JOEL TAN, JABEZ and JAZZLENE for being there to entertain me. if not i could have felt really so left out.

KIRBY came in the story line in the later part; which the sky goes dark. steady friend he is; how ever also a inresponsible bastard.

good friend to hang out with; but not work with.

hmm..! today service was great; but some how realize nothing really there to teach me. i started to felt real dry and useless; for a reason. the worst part is after service; go for a dinner is fine with me. but staying at 1 area seeing everyone entertain among them selve with all short of things; while me feeling so dry and lost my purpose of being there.

my dream can come true in THAILAND:

but not in SINGAPORE, SINGAPORE system make life really tough for me. i just not good enough to be in SINGAPORE.

i should migrate over to THAILAND. although it flood or problematic; but it still met my dream list. everyone there is so sincere and real.

SINGAPORE most people is not being real; there's always self fist motive behind them.

they always have a change of heart; which cannot be trust. they will be nice to you and give you a sign that they want to be there for you; till they achieve what's met their motive. they will make a change in their heart and throw you out of their life; coming out all kinds of stunt and trick to chase you away. making a fool out of you.

how cruel those people can be, i'll have to learn from all those mistake that made.

some time when they hates you they won't say it or tell you; instead they will come out with tactics to chase you out like a bloody damn fool. that's the scary things it can be. they just never get straight to the point.

the person which they use to shield themselve and to turn you off; is also a victim that been used like a fool; and the victim help that particular user for a motive as well like a DOG EAT DOG world.

im totally started to feel real hopeless living life facing this type of situation; what a DOG EAT DOG WORLD.

im seriously have to be real careful.

hmm..! i manage to quit smoking because i wanna go PES A in NS.

i no longer gonna smoke; gonna live a life clean and pure. i not gonna be like a PAGON.

i stopped smoking for 2 weeks; and it gonna go on. gonna stay free from corruption.

i must quit smoking in order for not letting my friend down; or make sure no nagging will come to me. i been nagged continuously from friends; so i don't want to piss them off. so i should QUIT smoking.

so far SINGAPORE really a hard place for me to fulfil my dream; none of my wish and aim come true in SINGAPORE: it always go another path way which make me feel so confuse and lost.

task cannot be done here in SINGAPORE. really i facing it 1st hand: im so disappointed of this life here.

that's why SINGAPOREAN run to other country to fulfil their career and dream: EG.

music people travel to TAIWAN or AMERICA to work toward it: CORRINE MAY left SINGAPORE to LOS ANGELES to fulfil her dream. she don't want to fulfil it in SINGAPORE: because she don't want to end up become advertiser for 7 ELEVEN and stuff like that.

LIN JUN JIE also another 1 left SINGAPORE to CHINA TAIWAN to fulfil his dream.

that already telling me so clearly that; SINGAPORE is really tough for fulfilling dream. you can see why most of the SINGAPOREAN after KOREAN artist so strongly. how crazy they go for their favourite artist; that already show how dream had been fulfil there.

that's why SINGAPORE have to keep taking in forent talent; because they can't build this type of skill here. skill is gain through fulfilling something.

which really hard to be fulfil in SINGAPORE; that's why forent have to keep coming in to back SINGAPORE up.

yeah SINGAPORE do have a strong point as well; in building charm in the city. which look really clean and beautiful. example MARINA BAY SAND and ETC.

look carefully who clean the country?

SINGAPOREAN OR FORENT?

look carefully who shop at MARINA BAY SAND? (it look real huge and gorgeous think about it are you involve in it?)

look at BRANDED PROPERTY occupied lots of land: who's the most that own the land?

SINGAPOREAN OR FORENER?

look whose the most that live in HDB FLAT? (it only last for 100 years and will be taken back and owner will lost their ownership of it in vain)

life really hard and miserable. the something that is good is the EDUCATION SYSTEM: even the poor can stands a chance to study and get education.

but how ever a poor person will lack of money ended up have to find a part time job; and it affected their study: ended up their dream are screwed.

another way they are feeling real humiliating being in school as a poorest guy there: which his pride are gone. ended up he will lost his motivation of study and being in school (dream are gone).

.....................................................................................

back to misery looking at the fact of being outcasted and unwanted.

2011-10-04T11:45:00.001-07:00

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

hmm..! im back to singapore. a long day away to thailand now back to hell.

there's lots of photo taken which can't be upload finish here; placed in FACEBOOK as memory. thailand is a trip which make me see what's loyal friend is all about.

there is so much freedom and so much convenient in travel; MOTOR BIKE is always available for me to use. i don't have to wait and worry for the bloody traffic police. the traffic police there is really friendly and make me feel sense of belonging.

fishing spot is superb and every where; uns like singapore every where is not alow to fish for any fish. they gonna come up with a new rule on licensing for fishing. definitely not a good place to live in; i been roaming around recking for fishing spot but just can't really be found.

gonna upload finish all the photo soon; waiting for the photo to fully up.

< >

having a friend or liking anyone is really something have to think twice; you never know how he or she gonna cast you away or even throw you one side.

to the extend where they can even become really cold toward you. really dangerous; they will make you feel so hated and make use of you. i faced that for quite long; which my pride stood up and ask me to say enough.

i started feeling everyone around is really fake and untrue after im back from thailand; realize those friends in thailand really sincere and all the time will be there.

thailand is a place where is filled with vegetable plantation and it's all organic. when ever i go i feel like im a king everyone is there to serve me foods. been served non stop from morning to night.

even mid night 3am there's people there to serve me whisky, every day im served; really felt bad some how. but feeling real touch in my heart.

i remember when to an optical shop to buy topless flame spectacle; while waiting for my spec to be done; they actually serve me drink and still ask me wan any refill. amazing service there.

i make a non degree spectacle just for fun and style; im on a perfect eye sight.

it's a good place of hospitality; feel like a king there and things there is really cheap. shop everyday without worry and no worry of hunger; i don't feel hungry throughout.

.........................................................................

flying off real soon.

2011-09-23T13:43:00.001-07:00

Friday, September 23, 2011

flying off real soon wont be updating the blog for 10days; tommorrow i will be flying of to THAILAND; isn't i suppose to be excited. but i don't seems to be excited about it.

i bought a cable to convert my cable to beable to link to my dad stereo set. so i testing on my brother guitar.

this is my st try it's a failure; that's why i stop by half way to re record.

this is my 2nd try.

PAUL WK CANON TRASH AND JUNK. i play not by placking, strumming or shreading: instead by hammering, knocking and slapping.

hope u will not mind my the mistake. i never really record my self playing any instrument; this is because i won't be able to update the blog of 10days; so i upload something played by me here to keep it alive.

it's really simple; it due to my nervous of something recording me. anything that record or show sight of me will bring my confident level real down: where my screw up % goes up higher.

from a simple song can even cause me to screw up. that's how i fail my TP.

i gonna miss service; pray to god that this trip will be a good 1. had a great chat with ANQI just now; once in a blue moon for me to really chat with her.

.....................................................................................

never update my blog due to continuous of runescaping;

2011-09-21T21:26:00.001-07:00

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

hmm..! been playing runescape all the way with KELVIN VIOLET TAN and follow by EUGENE LOW.

been charging level to the extend where i neglected my sleep: what that said on the last saturday service is true. most people always neglect their sleep over useless stuff.

just like me, im one good example. i been leveling on my FISHING and cooking.

take photo, sorry for the bad quality, using hand phone to snab instead of the compter snipping tool or mac book screen shot. because IPHONE camera snab faster.

think about it fishing in the game? i should find someday of my own go back to BISHAN park to fish for some fresh water fish: i remember fishing at there really caught alot of fish during that point of time. the fish there really greedy for good; the right hook and bread its good enough.

that time i remember i follow 1 old man fish for lobster; i gonna find a method how that man fish a lobster at bishan park.

i know who to find in my friend list for fishing: BENJAMIN QUECK!! he's my secondary school class mate. he's now a fishing expert see his list of fish caught. no joke real fish, real sting ray and crab.

cool! gonna call him up for a fishing; see wad method he gonna use.

luring method is hard. gonna try.

yeah about the speech or not enough sleep: jasmine poon said the older the person is if they not enough sleep always ;they will become weaker and weaker.

i becoming weaker and weaker.

.....................................................................................

2011-09-18T14:58:00.001-07:00

Sunday, September 18, 2011

today sunday didnt step out of house, stay at home slack the whole day; play runescape all the way from yesterday till today. at 1st play with KELVIN VIOLET TAN, but today never im all by my self.

snap using my hp, life seems to be real bad. lousy life i god; life suck seriously.

by the way about my this RUNESCAPE ACCOUNT; this account is from my primary school time; those days back runescape is completely a 2D game where my charactor is in 2D form. time fly where technology catching up; now my charactor transformed to 3D form.

this charactor contain of memories. last time primary school time i got not internet usually play it at my UNCLER factory. that cheater all i know that.

didnt play for real long years!

now kind of fun playing it, i remember those day whenever i play runescape i will fell asleep; wonder why this time round im so addicted to it; unsatisfyingly wanting to level up.

boost my fishing and cooking skill in the game. gonna reach high level before this saturday flying to THAILAND won't get to play runescape for a long period of time.

i sense that im hated haiz..!

< >

something come to my mind which make me think im hated, i got a hater which used to be my good friend; time passes by things flow so differently. making me Sad making me Mad.

that really add a percentage of a fucked up ness into my life.

.....................................................................................

things really make me mad and make me sad.

2011-09-17T09:33:00.001-07:00

Saturday, September 17, 2011

hmm..! today really a waste sia, a friend of my HAFIZ invited me to his house for dinner; his mom SAMBA dish is awesome. but why clash with today? thought can make it but end up things goes really late.

what a waste, hardly got this type of invitation, im touch when he said his mom ask me to come. really felt guilty his mom such a sincere person and i couldn't make it.

by the way today im late for service, but still manage to gather with the ITE group member; all the CL have their leadership camp so what? no big deal we still can go on with fun without those leader around.

played a JELLY FISH game which i intro it to them, i thought no 1 will be interested but amazingly their are laughingly screaming while playing the game,; im kind of touch some how.

location is at SCAPE.

< >

someone which i didnt see in service today; make me wonder what happen? i felt really worry some how. hope things don't goes bad. i really want to know what happen but i don't know how.

dare not ask around why is she not around; im really going mad and sad. wonder should i call her it will be really awkward, think she got a over sea trip. wish the reason that she didn't go service is because she got a over sea trip. hope her spiritual life be strong and not losing faith or get ruin by any shit stuff.

sometime things turn up in a way i couldn't forgive my self.

the midst of self unforgiven will burn hope and purpose away. where you give up everything and loose hope in all stuff.

..................................................................................

MIO TV!

2011-09-16T07:43:00.001-07:00

Friday, September 16, 2011

im still sad over yesterday TP haiz.!

today i stay at home the whole day, watch MIO TV MOVIE. watched alot of movie continuously, spend my noon to night on movie.

1st movie i watch is: GIRL$, 囡囡 Hong Kong 2010.

this movie contain hot stuff. those HONG KONG chick is hot.

by the way this movie is quite an interesting movie showing the corrupted part of life in this world; there's people who live at a darkness stage of life.

less fortunate people who give up them self for money; how dump of a girl who willing to be a prostitute just to earn that sum of money.

honestly speaking the reason why i watch this show, it's because the front cover display looks attractive; that's why i watch it's M18 movie.

catch it before it expire from MIO TV.

list of main charactor name; they are all hot.

Michelle Wai - Icy
Seli Xian - Ronnie
Minyi Wang - Gucci
Una Lin - Lin

GUCCI looks cute in this movie:

cant find the photo of how she look like in the movie, in the movie she's a girl with a spec. the most innocent 1 in the movie.

she look odd among the 4 of them, because she's the only decent 1; while the rest is a whoe.

in this movie GUCCI is her nick name, she obsess over all those luxury branded hand bag, to the extend where her friend give her a nick name GUCCI. she even place a sum of money to an auction on the bag blindly, she without knowing her badget, till she have to give an excuse to buy time. with reason she gave in order to gather that sum of money to claim the bag.

ICY also hot in the movie.

that's how she look like in the movie. gorgeous isn't it?

HONG KONG hot stuff got no plastic surgery, naturally their beautiful, but their behaviour is a big problem.

they are untidy people.

overall the movie is consider great. i never heard of this movie before, glad i have MIO TV.

the 2nd movie i watch is; THE LEGEND OF THE FIST:

LEGEND OF THE FIST is a super cool action movie.

guest what? DONNIE YEN is on the move, with shocking stunt he perform in the movie. cool view and angle shot. it give a visual stunning to the eye. it bringing classic action theme like BRUCE LEE back to now.

DONNIE YEN give a real firm and fast move in every movie; giving the audience satisfaction of the damage he gave to the enemy.

it's showing the dirty spirit of the JAPANESE during the pass.

worth watching catch it before it expire in MIO TV.

DONNIE YEN is a martial artist + a musician as well. he can also dance and sing; amazing person.

the 3rd movie i watch is JACKY CHAN movie:

NEW POLICE STORY! acted by JACKY CHAN and NICOLAS TSE that cool looking guy.

great action movie but the fighting style give a different style compared to DONNIE YEN. JACKY CHAN fight is making use of the surrounding and stuff. but he don't give much damage to the enemy compared to DONNIE YEN.

DONNIE YEN give a much more impact full shot.

by the way about this movie is base on a group of rich kid who have no purpose in life gather to create trouble by robbing bank. the reason why they rob bank not because of the money; it's because they dislike police and cop. they formed and planned a strike of killing and murdering of police man.

how despicable they is. they are dump as well.

movie watching spree, hardly got this type of free time; now is holiday i can slack like never before.

last time when the time i work i wishing to have this type of free time. finally i can have it.

< >

by the way ever try BAILEYS HAZELNUT FLAVOUR?

it taste great. gup it down make me high.

................................................................

fail my TP; felt real down. gonna carry on with life anyway on my holiday experiment.

2011-09-15T10:17:00.001-07:00

Thursday, September 15, 2011

how am i gonna explane those feeling of failing TP for the 2nd round.

the night before the TRAFFIC POLICE TEST, i couldn't sleep been really worried and confuse on how the TP gonna be. the feel of getting posses with worry and fear; to the extend where my heart pump real fast where it trigger my blood to rush through my vessel; where motion took place like a nudge of a current.

been rolling around trying to get to sleep; subjective worrisome repeatively idealing around my mind which caused me to loose breath; to the extend where my body is wet by a cold sweat. an out break of nervousness is preveil. something keep flowing into my mind which is a thought of negativity saying to me that; im just not called up to ride a bike. with frustration i burst out with a piss anger; cannot be riding bike is my dream. i been working toward it for real long time; despite my limitation of finance, i will willingly sacrifice my time to get a part time job and a free lance job; just to gather that required sum of money for booking all my practical and TP test.

i went through those long journey with lots of obstacle which standing my way, more and more i hated my life and my untalented ness. im good at nothing; which said by how my pathetic life i had. passing this TP test means alot to me which hardly anyone can understand.

passing this TP test will add a point of deduction of my hated part of my life. some of my friend tell me GOD don't want me to ride bike; it's too dangerous. that's what my uncler and mom told me as well; same thing.

if god want me to ride bike i could have pass at the 1st attempt; i seriously pissed of by those rubbish. my as well ask me to give up in my dream and work. bike is my dream i want a bike; those word is all what they think. pure bullshit.

it's discouraging not even an encourage to me; i never gonna give up. idle i got a bike or live a hopeless life. there's nothing out there gonna fulfill my feelings and my emotion; only thing left is passing my TP and get a bike; it's a damn burden for years; which i haven't get through it yet.

how exactly different is; through the road revision the controlling of bike is much more easy. but went come to the TP time; wonder why am i got to nervous which im got controled instead.

i trying to stay calmn and even get the confident; but that doesn't work. the power of nervous kill away everything.

how exactly it's is i step into the room which everyone around who taking the TP test. i seated according to my number tag 21. everyone is around waiting for their turn to proceed to the test. the release 2 student at a time; it go 2 people a time; till 1 person clear they will release 1 more.

seeing the number of people proceeded followed by me; it really nervous. it's totally different from the PRACTICAL 7 and 4. which they release lots by lots instead of 2 people taking the test in a time.

through the test i already know i not gonna make it this round; but the damn false hope keep coming into my mind telling me that there's still a hope in passing. i is bullshit; i hate false hope.

i think is normal for human to see hope in things; but the fact there's no hope. there's no such thing as hope; only possibility. that already telling how foolish human being are.

show you my result slip how terrible it's:

(you can click to see it bigger, hope someone can explane to me what exactly WOBBLE and inappropriate posture means>)

that's the result that display the point; most of it is from WOBBLE damn. the shit thing is posture also they wanna count; and the green arrow dissappear so sudden i follow the green arrow sign but ended up it went off. that doesn't happen before but today; screw my luck seriously. previous attempt ig ot 34 point.

look what happen today; 66 point. it getting worst instead.

wonder how ; what can i do about it.

they state the point and mistake without saying where exactly it's. wobble and blind spot should indicate where exactly it's. signal wrong also should give a map and explane clearly where it is. now the problem here is they never let me know the mistake specifictly: wonder how am i gonna improve? fucking arrogant seriously those TP.

they are not sincere at all to give me the mistake in proper detail.

the previous round they also did not say the mistake exactly where it's, how am i gonna learn from it? it's really unfair.

seriously they are so dead.

< >

before mentioning about what exactly i gonna do; share to you some history of how those stuff are.

by the way from the pass few day i been gathering information on how to make party material like fire cracker rocket; i found no infomation on it; thought moon cake festival gonna be a good time to play rocket and fire work. gonna bring the spirit of the chinese celebration back. in the dynasty time chinese create and discover GUN POWDER and flammable stuff 1st; before the western travel over to china to learn from the chinese.

in the pass the chinese inventerd gun powder and fire cracker for new year celebration and party admosphere; never once they use it as weapon to hurt; come to a fight they will play a clean game like; fist to fist or cross melee weapon instead of chemical and explotion.

till the day where the western travel over to explore and gather information of gun powder and fire cracker. they decided to use the concept to make weapon that will kill people. how cruel and self fist they are in the pass; they use the gun powder to make gun and end up they use it to kill the chinese in the pass. they start bullying people; that's the reason why CHINA decided to rise up and in all midst they will go all way to stop the bully case; that's where they become so defensive and armed up with weapon as well.

the western have to history of bullying; that can be a possibility why there is terrorist; the ideal of dun powder as weapon been pass around till; now there's concept of newer and stronger impact of gun and bomb.

even now the terrorist equiped with gun and bomb; if the western don't come out the ideal of making gun powder as a weapon; the terrorist could have fight with PA RANG (knife) instead; it will be much more easier to stop the terrorist.

every nation will keep rising again another nation; the symbol that tells that is the NUCLEAR weapon they obtain. see now NORTH KOREA arm them self with lot of nuclear.

the american always want to invent new source of power that give much more efficiently; but instead they will make it as weapon as well; nothing they invent that will not be made as weapon.

power can goes on stronger and stronger; but 1 thing the earth will not beable to take it. Armageddon!

i found ideal of turning water into fire: ammonia nitrate, salt, ZINC powder; glind it together to form a black powder. make sure there's no water around or even the sweat. when any water keep contact with the black powder; it will ignite and cause green flame explotion. deadly sia. i saw it in the internet; think they gonna bann it real soon.

PING PONG BALL:

PING PONG BALL it a table tennis ball; which look small and harmless.

it easily be crushed just with bare finger, in order to form it back to round shape after the crush; place it in a boiling water. the heat will cause the inner air to expend.

it look real simple though; but it make up of a real material as a classic film strap of a movie film and a tape, which is highly flammable; just a fire that keep contact with the ping pong ball it will cause a chain of burn that rapture the the ping pong ball off.

fire ping pong ball can cause smoke mist; like a smoke bomb; usually joker like to cruch the ping pong ball and compress it into a rubbish ball from and wrap it with aluminum foil wrapper. it will form into a tight sealed ball; try linking a fire cracker stick to keep contact with the pink pong ball and stick out.

it will look like a bomb shape; when you light it up the spark will produce and trace after the stick that keep contact with the ping pong ball inside. when the ping pong ball keep contact with the fire, the flamming ping pong start react in the aluminum foil where causes the sealing aluminum to expend with lots of smoke licking out like a smoke mist.

i tried the method of aluminum foil wrapping up a match stick tightly and lighting it up; the match stick will got flamed up where the smoke and blow; will burn and penetrate through the aluminum foil; where smoke of mist will release out.

it's a cool stuff, its a small and really effective, especially if your kitchen cabinet infested by cockroach; you can make one and through it in the cabinet and smoke the cabinet from the inside; while the match reacting quickly close up the cabinet let the smoke chock the cockroach. trapping the smoke inside the cabinet.

how exactly it look like:

how exactly it look like; this is like a blank. it already got burned away.

can be made better then this. tomorrow after noon gonna try make it again; gonna test it on cockroach and pest.

gonna make 1 video of how the smoke bomb gonna work like.

< >

oh yeah about yesterday movie i watch: BRUNO the gay movie which i watched yesterday by accident:

the FAG relationship they in. BRUNO and DIESEL was together it show in the start of the movie.

diesel is bruno 1st gay fag friend: which they in an affair. terrible row play they had; sickening. when BRUNO lost his job as a funky model career; DIESEL dummed him and ran away with other gay fag.

for a girl who dump a guy because the guy lost his job; the word to mention that type of girl is: "BITCH"

for a gay FAG wonder what word to descript: cannot be BITCH. BITCH only apply to girl but not GAY FAG; wonder what word to use haha^^ cannot be slut also, prostitute or GIGOLO? cannot be that is among guy and girl; definitely not GAY FAG.

that word doesn't exist; thats show GAY shouldn't exist. no 1 is born gay; only influence of the environment that they brought up from. HOMOSEXUAL is a human error due to the terrible family back round they got.

for a person who get attracted by the same gender. that's obviously wrong and it's definitely a mistake.

show you 1 picture of a male and female cable:

if you wanna buy a audio extender to reach your computer to the further away stereo set definitely you need this cable.

the stereo will need to link to the female side, the male side of the cable have to link to the computer.

example if the person give you a cable which both side also male, you will definitely will feel like smacking that person; for not giving you the right thing. even if they give you both side female; it will make you curse and swear.

GOD created human a male and a female to link them; just like ADAM and EVE.

it never mention ADAM and BOB or EVE and SARAH. so have to face the fact if you are a guy means u should be a guy.

................................................................

BRUNO that sickening movie, a gay movie that touch me in some way.

2011-09-14T07:52:00.001-07:00

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

hmm..! today i watched BRUNO movie:

it's a real sickening movie; contain lots of obscene stuff. please do not watch it if you not yet 21 year old.

it will corrupt your mind badly. im already 21 and it corrupt me, bruno is a GAY who got fired from a model frame. he got his life screwed, if im not wrong he go to jail and got release out with emptiness; he have to start his career and dream from sketch.

this movie really inspiring, showing how much a gay spec guy really go all the way out to be there for BRUNO; his unconditional love really move my heart.

but he don't behave or even dress up like a gay, he look pure gentleman. for BRUNO case he's 100% gay, he do lots of hard core gay sex; which really cause un present stuff to the body. seeing him having sex with a ugly short gay; making me feel like puking while watching it.

by the way BRUNO look real hot and cool i this movie; just that the things he do ruin his reputation. making me think what a waste for him.

can see in this movie BRUNO gone through alot; but most of the thing he did really shouldn't be done, things could have turns out right for him.

that spec guy really touch me; seeing the way he willingly go through all kinds of humiliation just for BRUNO to be happy. place lots of hope in BRUNO; how amazing he is.

some how an amazing movie; but lots of scene that caused eye piercing is really unnecessary , the movie and story line can go on without it. it cause a different kind of laugher which i don't know how to descript it.

all the girl in this movie make me think they are a whoe who love to be screwed. sickening!

those gayness scene can make you feel like pocking your own eye with hot niddle.

reach 21 year old can catch this movie.

how i manage to watch it; is not because i want to watch it. i watch the trailer and heard about this movie; it give me no interest in watching it. i just saw it in my uncler computer, he happen to ask me to test all the song in his computer. at 1st he ask me to test the BRUNO MASS track see can it upload into the phone. ended up he downloaded the wrong stuff; he shock and laugh in the same time.

what a joke looking for BRUNO MASS song ended up BRUNO movie.

some how the movie make me think if im a gay who will i wanna date in my mind haha^^ list of good friend in my mind lol^^

no way i not gonna scare my friend off haha^^ and im a straight guy!!

< >

by the way today is my ROAD REVISION, tommorow is my TP; have to wake up real early tommorrow. have to be there by 7.15AM to warm up before the TP. today ROAD REVISION makes my confident go down.

through the ROAD REVISION i make lots of mistakes; like wrong checking of blind spot. no!! sad case.

hope tommorow TP will be a good news for me. my friend around me been washing me pass; they encourage me; cannot let them down and i cannot let my self down as well.

i remember the long journey i walk from YIO CHU KANG to ADMIRALTY; it really a punishment. i don't want to go through those shit again.

.............................................................................

today my circuit revision

2011-09-13T11:49:00.001-07:00

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

this bottle is free; i got 3 of this bottle for free. not open yet.

gone case sia through the circuit revision; i screwed up in the narrow plank. never ride bike quite long. i must buck up before 2 more day to TP; tommorow is my last chance to revise at ROAD REVISION.

2 more day to my TP; im scared now think about the time i fail really break me down.

by the way before the 8.10pm CIRCUITE REVISION; at the after noon @ around 3PM+ went to meet THOMAS, LEONARD, LIANNA and KAI LIANG at YIO CHU KANG STATION; we hang around ANG MO KIO area; had our LUNCH at SUMO HOUSE.

after the lunch head down to a near by LAN SHOP to play BLACK SHOT. i into AWP; other then that i can't use.

yesterday night i been reading my own blog; i read all my previous post. realize i been typing alot; countless of it. lots of words i been typing till i can never believe it type by me; some how those message i gave in the pass really remind me in wad im facing now.

i realize how forgetful i am; those word i type really encourage my self. that's really weird. the PAUL from the PASS drop a message to encourage his future which is me currently now.

with a shock that caused me to stone by reading all my previous post date by date; wonder how different i am from the pass till now. i realize the pass me is so much more wiser then now i am.

what i said in the pass came back to struck me; it remind me to keep track. i gone too far. the pass me always meditate and visualize things.

now the im totally another scumm; the pass me don't fall in love an compromise. but now i fall in love and also compromise. damn it!

i should be the paul who don't fall so easily. i should be the paul who get back to do what a PAUL WK suppose to do.

isn't im a cook or a creative guy i suppose to be? why am i just live life so slackingly and thinks alot?

i just receve a call from my previous restaurant mate; he called me ask me to go back to cook. he said my pay gonna increase; the bloody head cheff desmond which i hated alot got fired. what a relief hmm..! i should go back there; this time round everythings change no longer japanese cuisine. international buffet; mixture of japanese and lots of culture of cuisine. wonder will i get to coup up with it?

im too used to the previous recipe now things changes completely; will i be able to catch up with the rest. now the good things is there's no more DESMOND.

i should start cooking again, not gonna slack any more. not gonna fall in love with anyone ever again; some big mistake i did by falling in love with someone. falling in love is a kind of symptom which similar to singes; singles is a mutated version of chicken pox which a friend of my ever got it.

i read an article on a man who got into a serious singles; which spread all over his face; which eat his skin up, follow by his nerve and spread all over his organ; to an extend where it can cause death.

instead falling is a symptom that eat the person heart, brain and follow by soul. which i have it now. falling in love with someone; wonder will i find cure or just got eaten up fully.

i gonna work toward getting the cure, after the cure i should smith up my heart to be real harden where i will not fall in love with anyone ever again.

the journey of love can lead to alot of burden. 1 example is: a guy and a girl got together and it go through the journey together. where they settle down 1 area which called their home. further down the journey; where their child are born. things will go up and down; example the guy were to lost his job. caused the family to suffer; the guy have to hold on to that responsibility. in all midst the guy gonna make it back up.

when the guy make it back up it takes time; the kid grow up definitely. the more kid they got; definitely bigger the family. a guy responsibility is to save enough money to make an escape way for the whole family. money to set aside: monthly payment of tax and bill, school fee to settle, installment, medical security, daily espend for food, family car tax, pet if the wife or kid wants it, the family wanna go over sea for holiday; another set aside sum for air plane ticket for the whole family.

tiding for the whole family, now is end time generation disaster may come anytime gonna set aside sum of money for moving the whole family to somewhere safe.

still another problem may happen; the child commit crime end up in jail or boys home. have to prepare a sum of money to bill them out. if they want to learn additional lesson like their hobby; another monthly payment to be pay off.

the wife got stolen away by other guy; there's still another set aside money to hire street fighter to dunk the barger who stole the wife. look countless of responsibilty to hold.

that's why love is a serious joke; a guy and girl got together, in their brain they will think about all the fantasy; infact it's just a fantasy. in other word fairy tales; watch those drama it will give u all short of lies. things flow so perfectly, like there's no pain.

there's lots more to consider about. so please take this advice; i don't think you can afford to buy a boat to store up the whole family up incase of flood or tsunami. if you disagree with me you can drop a word to prove me wrong; i believe everyone will agree with me.

never get into a relationship or even married; unless u are living in the garden of aden. but you are living in planet earth so it's totally different thing.

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oh no F1 clash with my thailand trip.

2011-09-12T12:26:00.001-07:00

Monday, September 12, 2011

haiz damn it sia can't make it for the F1 job; LINKING PARK, SAKIRA and more performance life sia wallao leh!

it's on the 22 sept to 25 sept; a 4 day work sia; damn i fly of to THAILAND on 24 SEPT. how sia? the job clash with my THAILAND trip.

wonder how sia? by the way i still thinking about the SHINEE concert; such great memory and experience. it really fill me up.

those memorable admosphere and moment. i wont forget that; WESTLIFE is coming to singapore hope im in haiz!

heard about SUPER JUNIOR coming singapore again sia; hope im in also.

the F1 LINKIN PARK performance gone for me; haiz! think about it im damn sad sia.

untill now the SHINEE TRACK HELLO HELLO still repeatively in my mind.

by the way today is a boring day woke up from a long sleep; felt real bored at home. cook myself something to eat; pasta with vege. i never cook for real long hmm..!

now im free to cook.

later evening MING XIANG called me to meet the rest at ANG MO KIO; their play to play fire so i quickly prepare something to burn: bought 3 can of ZIPPO liquid, 2 MASKING TAPE, 6 pack of fire cracker stick, 4 set of match stick, 1 pack of lighter and 4 pack of white long candle.

try to make rocket in every attempt we failed haiz; wad a damn disappointment. overall we played fire, camp fire haha^^

that's the camp fire we made; gather lots of dry leaf and branches. pour lots of zippo on it to make it flammable; later on light it up with lighter.

the video of the rocket is with MING XIANG; he recorded with his I phone 4.

hanged till late some catch last transport; JAMES and TIMOTHY walk back home. shouldn't be a problem they are guy and the place they stay really near.

BRADELL from ANG MO KIO is really straight forward near, same goes to THOMSON.

that time KAI LIANG BIRTHDAY i remember i from YIO CHU KANG walk to ADMIRALTY; that is really a big problem. i still make it through like no body business; i think for them should be alright.

during that period of time i was walking crazily thinking how much i need a MOTOR BIKE; please hope my this coming TP on the 15 will pass. just few more day to it. i don't want to walk like that again; it's really a punishment.

it's hell passing by those swam and darkness. irritating and suffering; i really don't want to walk that path again. bless me with a motor bike.

through the process of concert job it actually heal my broken heart; i try not to think about those emotional problem but it doesn't work. till i get back to work for the concert it actually keep my mind busy instead of being like a pathetic emo scum!

it may seems fun to you breaking my heart or even piss me off by making me jealous; do what ever u wan breaking my heart doesn't kill me or even stop me from what i suppose to do.

hurting me is fun to you; go a head as long as you happy.

im no longer young already; im already an old man. heart feelings should stop there. my heart should not dwell in the brokeness; it should be in what i suppose to do and experience before i got into NS.

there's not much time left; glad i experience numbers of event and concert. there's more i have to experience and create more memory; i have to do more drawing and photo shop before NS come where i got no more time to do those stuff.

by the way the KOREAN lady who brief the QUEUE for the SHINEE CONCERT is pretty.

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catch up post on SHINEE 1ST CONCERT 2011 SINGAPORE.

2011-09-11T03:17:00.001-07:00

Sunday, September 11, 2011

just woke up haiz...! yesterday do OT; just to help out with tear down of the place. on the 9 of SEPTEMBER: i head down to SINGAPORE INDOOR STADIUM with; HUI YANG, HAIZ and HELFIE for the SHINEE 1ST CONCERT SINGAPORE. REHERSAL! im followspot light number 1; know it after through the briefing with the koreans meeter. show u some picture taken on the SEPTEMBER 9:

the rest of the photo in FACEBOOK; lazy upload ever photo, very troublesome. the next day SEPT 10 photo taken:

you saw the BB TEA cup?; that's the SHARE TEA BBT. it taste like milk tea; very nice i find it taste better then KOI or even GONG CHA. the BBT outlet wonder can it be found at any where in singapore. i gonna go check it out in the internet. i taken some video randomly:

i hardly video or take photo of the artist; because im busy reherse and flow the followspot on the ARTIST. theres definitely alot more people take photo of the artis closeup; those fan club who flood up the chamber. when the SHINEE fly up with the string; the fan was screaming real mad. i thinking wah!! fishing sia SHINEE is the fishing baid; the fan is the fish. show u how the stage look like for the shinee concert: it's like a letter Y shape. look abit like the SUPER JUNIOR stage; but super junior stage is like a cross save in the square. their trademark is actually putting the lift on the stage and hang the artis up the air. haha^^ for SHINEE is everyone hanging in the air instead of just 1 member. funny this time round the LUCIFER is different from the MV; in the CONCERT shinee was flying with a both handed wolvering craw that shine out green laser pointet light. during the actual concert time; one of the member KEY shine the laser any how it hitted my eye. sabo me can't see properly. the spot light that i shine on him can't beat the laser pointer.

< >

by the way today date is the memorable day of the world trade center:911 incident.

the 1 who clash the world trade center religion is not islam or even muslim; their religion is terrorist. they offer their life to OSAMA; they pray by sucking OSAMA cock.

islam is islam, terrorist is terrorist; their totally different category. islam pray to ahlah, terrorist pray to osama cock. totally different things.

the fact about terrorist is they fight for the pride of SUCKING OSAMA COCK.

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went to MBS for some work stuff, tear down lol!

2011-09-08T09:53:00.001-07:00

Thursday, September 8, 2011

hmm wad a long tiring day.

went to ICA to make my passport; hope my passport will come on time. please don't affect my THAILAND trip.

yeah..! today went to MARINA BAY SAND convention centre @ simpor hall. for some grand looking macdonald event tear down; what i saw there is lots of luxuary stuff and a huge M.

tiring day; kind of interesting day; head down from MBS with HUI YANG. the lory uncler drove us to PIONEER show tech work shop to put down stuff. later on drive us back home. free transport thank god.

taken photo:

the place look real grand and luxuary, when to see their KITCHEN; super awesome, there's GOLDEN plate and lots of cook ware looking great there.

such grand, the cheff there should be well paid.

the shop there really expansive, not for human to buy. when i step in MBS i realize im the 3rd world resident of singapore. nothing i can afford there sia; it make me feel so poor.

it's not a good place to go seriously speaking. MARINA BAY SAND is for show now for shop; even there's CASINO. will end up getting drain there. that's why most people went to MARINA SAND is just to take photo; for show that's it. especially singaporean.

while on the weird looking bridge to MBS i saw triport and DSLR around just to snab photo. i don't see anyone holding papper bag of: LV, ARMANI, CHANNELL or ETC. even 7 ELEVEN plastic bag i dun even see it.

really killing people, i only see DSLR hanging on a neck.

tommorrow there's briefing and rehersal for SHINEE CONCERT at SINGAPORE INDOOR STADIUM; kind of excited and nervous too. wonder how it's gonna be like.

.....................................................................................

felt real weak

2011-09-07T09:55:00.001-07:00

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

hmm! woke up at 1PM+ wash up change; quickly rush down to ICA building to make my IC; actually i IC didn't really lost. it at the ICA building. but never mind i decided to remake 1 new 1; add my christian name in it.

now have to change my passport damn it hope free sia; all i know make new passport is cost $70. but change passport wonder how much it is.

been talking about the SHINEE concert; she want the job so badly for a reason something screw up. ended up she so disappointed. wonder why do SHOWTEC so delaying; just some simple reply from the damn boss. take so long haiz. i wanna work for the SHINEE concert; i in need money. i wanna be back to the life that i used to experience; event and lighting for concert. just now been talking to JABEZ about the previous event; it's such a good memory.

SUPER JUNIOR SHOW 3 life in singapore:

miss those days, i been looking at the photo of it, those super good admosphere and see the whole concert been build up; seeing them reherse and working with the KOREANS tech. miss that moment hope; this SHINEE concert i can experience that again.

i should be back to that line; where else can i go?

when those feeling of getting out of the concert show line; i felt so missing and so many thing screwed up. i need to set my mind on what i suppose to do.

i still can't forget those screwed up moment for the IRON maiden concert i fell sick heavily fever; i could do my job properly. where my impression goes real bad, the boss don't understand me; everyone think im a slacker during that point of time.

it felt really terrible; hope this time round none of those shit gonna happen. i need that job and the money. my bursary are gone; my $750 gone just like that. i wonder how can i get through it. i miss out in the setup of the SHINEE concert due to my damn exam haiz!

now i felt really weak; feel like i gonna fever anytime. felt my mind is bursting; hope i dont fell sick. i wanna be energize and strong for the upcoming days and for the SHINEE concert; it's just tommorrow.

hope i can get my passport done real quick; my THAILAND trip is near.

< >

something i felt real weak where i need my everything to be beside me.

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woke up with a shock, fine un-expecting day.

2011-09-06T12:43:00.001-07:00

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

today woke up at 12PM with a shock; suddenly realize oh yeah my exam is over and it's holiday. phew..!

so stand by get ready to go make my IC and EZ card. suddenly realize oh yeah i got a birthday card to pass to KAI LIANG and LENG NA; so i call EUGENE up ask to meet at his school because my mom stay near by. so head down to CHUA CHU KANG ITE SHOP n SAVE.

pass him that 2 card; head back home after that. get my self washed up and get out of my mom house at 3PM+ reached ICA building; it come in a way that the place close at 4.30PM. really a sad case.

i draw something:

that's a card.

reached ICA with a disappointment; ended up i didnt make my IC and even my EZ CARD. i some how left with nothing haiz!

left with heading back down to AMK; pass my sis the portable DVD ROM. went to GYM with my bro at the evening.

after that went back home wanna have a good rest; suddenly a call from LE CHUAN asking me to spend time with him. he stay at BUKIT PANJANG he don't want to go home hang around bishan to AMK to find me; i wasn't prepare to go find him. too last minute ended up make him wait.

it wasn't my fault he just too sudden; why can't he call someone else instead me to spend time with him. i asked him about it; he say he prefer spending time with me. im some one which he feel secure to share his problem and weakness; so im kind of touch some how. still thinking is it true or not; there's doubt in me about that. am i make use of?

think about it actually not a problem also; at least i play my part as his friend. he call me his best friend which i know him for 1 year + only.

he also want to hear from me about hows those problem asking me do i have problem to share; so i share to him about lost ez card, ic and the someone which i treasure, definitely not so specific.

he ask me to call her out and alway be there for her; i thinking call her out? seems impossible for me. i wish i can always be there for her ya!

but things turn out to be a real big problem. i wan my everything back.

had a good time drinking with him and time spend; real problem is he sabo me miss my sleep.

.......................................................................................

today is exam; finally over now all is left is result and next term.

2011-09-05T07:19:00.001-07:00

Monday, September 5, 2011

i can't wait for the 24 sept for my THAILAND trip. will be a long travel from: BANG KOK>MUKDAHAN>LAO> CAMBODIA.

long day trip for shopping spree; exam over time for me to have a relieve. get out from emotional problem and mental problem. out of the shitty country of stress to the gorgeous and beautiful land for travel.

today i lost my EZ CARD; i share to him about alot of lost i have; even some one who i life alot also lost. definitely wont share to specific; he just not fully can be trusted. by the way tommorrow i have to go make my new EZ card and new IC which i lost them both.

LE CHUAN told me about sometime we have to lost something for better things to come. you ever know while you make your way down to make the new things. EG: he lost his phone and now he got a newer and better phone.

it do make sense some how; losing something for something good in exchange. things always come newer and better.

it already stated so clearly: THINGS! but losing some one and losing something is different. human is not things. once it's my favorite means my favorite; it cannot be replace. it's only her in my heart; if someone takes means it's belong to that someone. means i have to become a monk.

because that phobia of those shit will stuck in me; which i can no longer trust those feelings for any human beings.

that's it gonna use my study note to make camp fire and lantern for moon cake festival.

today exam over shiok! went to my mom place at TECK WHYE to pass my day by. felt really lonely; my fulfillment of hanging out with the WEST side is completed some how: EUGENE JOSHUA, JERON and CHIN HO. this 3 guys is someone i know but didn't really spend time catching up with them.

im so glad KELVIN LEONG CHEE MENG is in the SHINEE concert job; exam is over please count me in. KELVIN need that finance; i glad god use me to make a way for him.

same for JABEZ; during that point of time she in financial break down and emotional break down. GOD used me to count her in the S.O.S and SUPER JUNIOR CONCERT job now she in IOS. god use me to make way for her. thank god!

i feel really honoured. GOD use my friend HAFIZ to water me like a plant to stretch my root to people.

GOD use my friend HUI YANG to trim me like a garderner and be my tutor for my study for last year 2010; those day that passed make me feel really glad that i got such friends. i will treasure them all; how bad they gonna treat me i don't know still they will always be my friend.

today i practice my guitar on a song:"I LAY MY LOVE ON YOU" on my guitar, it sound terrible i know:

it's a old song by westlife, this song kind of come into my mind suddenly so i decided to play. at 1st i felt confirtable with this song realize after record; my voice sound like constipating lol. never mind i hear my own voice i can see potential in my self hek! hek! thick skin ahaha..!

although lots of mistake here and there; forget the lyric is 1 problem. sudden throat cram also another problem.

another is randomly classic song:

that's all for today.

today terrible way to school from teck whye bus 67 to tampines ITE; 2 hour sia. i wan a motor bike; please give me!! i need it.

while travel on the bus i actually took out my MAC BOOK PRO to play BLACKSHOT on the bus amazingly not lack; cool shit sia. make my travel so much fun. after revise for my exam then i play; problem is end up giddy due to motion sick. sad case i got out of the bus feeling really bad.

feel like i gonna vomit anytime; in the end glad when i reached the class the feeling gone back to normal. haha^^

never play any 1st person shooter game while on the bus.

< >

my TP is on the 15 sept; im really feeling real nervous. the previous round i failed badly 1 immediate failure and 30+ point; combo smash right on my bloody shit face. think about it can cry sia.

i book circuit revision on 13, road revision on 14 and TP 15.

i have to adapt fast and remember to check my blind spot and have proper technic. i really need a motor bike; i want it im 21 year old already. i cannot have nothing with me.

don't make me sad, don't make me mad.

im breaking down always.

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fine sunday, 1 more day to exam gone case!

2011-09-04T11:11:00.001-07:00

Sunday, September 4, 2011

yesterday sleep at 9AM+; super duper tired; due to yesterday event. woke up at 7AM+; get changed and prepare for break fast with my family.

went to the further ave 4 PRATA store; their prata is superb and their curry is amazing. my dad told me the fish curry remind him of 40+ year ago; where singapore is still a KAMPONG time, he bought a bowl curry and a bowl of rice for 50CENT: to share with his sister;during that point of time it's really normal to be poor. that's what they share; how privilege we are now hmm..!

it's really legendary prata. original HINDU prata shop always got a long queue; i think it's because it;s simply on their originality.

after that break fast head down to LAVENDER GOLDEN MILE to shop with my mom and uncler, after that head down to SUNTEC for IT fair, didn't buy much things. only upgrade my phone line to SONY ERICSON EXPERA PLAY for my mother sister; gonna go THAILAND and pass it to her.

show you how it look like; EXPERA PLAY WHITE:

no big deal any way haiz! it gonna give to people which i don;t even know her or see her before. that feeling seriously suck; just follow mom order.

bought printer ink and photo paper for the printer.

i gonna print cards for people birthday.

by the way on m,y way back; coincidenly saw JERON. he's making his way down to CHUA CHU KANG ITE to study, just nice it's near my mom place; so i head back home have a quick change and head down to CCK ITE to study with him; for tommorrow exam.

that's all for today.

< >

still short of something hmmm....!!

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lazy to post too much so post abit.

2011-09-03T17:21:00.001-07:00

Saturday, September 3, 2011

been a long day out, from thursday have a night walk from YIO CHU KANG MRT station to ADMIRALTHY station; it seems dumb right? never mind exercise is good.

nearly break my limit; now my leg still abit aching. never mind small matter.

worth walking down for KAI LIANG BDAY. im so super confuse due to the damn last minute cannot make it for this coming SHINEE concert; gone case i totally no ideal what to do.

friday is the day i completed the rabit:

took lots of effort in this rabit; because lots of last minute changes.

complete with EUGENE and CHIN HOE. that's all for the rabit.

after completed the rabit went over to EAST COAST park with EUGENE; CHIN HOE did a right move by going back home.

realize i did lots of SAI KANG work; dawn over with tiredness and boringness; how regret i am.

wasn't a wise things to do.

ton till the next morning; i did took a short nab.

the next day is SATURDAY: HOPE KIDS event. ..zzZ: shouldn't be that boring; it's because im tired that's why i keep feeling bored and tired. in another word shack!

photo took quite a number of it:

who is there: TIMOTHY, EUGENE, CHIN HOE and JABEZ.

i see lots of potential in most of the kids; some are fierst, potential pretty girls and handsome guys they gonna be next time.

some are interesting in their charactor; fierst and nasty boy i saw which make me see lots of potential in him; he got is courage and strength. what a kid.

that's all nothing much. didn't go for service that's why nothing much; too tired to be in service.

< >

i still in love with the same person; my heart didn't change at all.

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2011-08-31T09:51:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

hmm! today? just another day. carry on with my HOPE KIDS DECO stuff. i manage to study by abit. still neglected alot in my study; please let be catch up with it.

today confuse about school; called RAJA about school stuff. he say i must go back school tommorrow to finish my last assignment. text message came: " tommrrow class 9AM to 3PM. wah lots of time for my assignment to be done. and good chance to ask my class mate and lecture for exam tips.

today EUGENE and JABEZ came my mom house; crap and joke around. great time spend i glad to have a friend like them. realize EUGENE is a good ideal of friend.

some 1 i can relate with:

random photo taken during the supper.

gonna spend this type of quality time again.

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haiz! life this way really a pain in the ass.

2011-08-30T08:55:00.001-07:00

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

today i made a birthday card for LENG NA; but i dare not give it to her sia.

look this is the birthday card:

this is a really prizeless, i didn't spend any money for it; wonder will it be cheapskate? i place efford thinking how to make a memorable card for her birthday.

i kind of shy giving my drawing as people gift, wonder how; thikng of laminate it and write an encouragement card behind.

sia la i seriously want to give her; but dare not sia. how sia?

any way to give me a guards to do that?

why like that! shit screw life seriously; i mean this type of shit life. exam coming in less then a week, i haven't really start studying and the same time my mom is sick; i have to be there to take care of her. really troublesome when sick in the timing where exam is around the corner.

i still got lots of task to be done. my MAC BOOK PRO BOOTCAMP window 7 got something fucked up and now it kind of clash in the window oz. pain in the ass seriously and my beloved girl doesn't wanna talk to be thats another big problem. still got the HOPE KIDS event DECO to be done.

haiz! not for the 2 friend who there to spend time with me i could have jump down on the road and give a car bang.

today meet them at JURONG EAST STATION; from TECK WHYE to there is not a big problem to me. thank god i stay in my mom place.

meet them at JURONG east at 3PM+ suppose to be there 2PM, but on the phone around close to 2pm i called euegene; he just woke up haiz. so i decided to take my time; but 1 big problem CHIN HOE waited there for so long. really wanna say sorry to him.

from JURONG EAST we make our way down to BUGIS ART FRIENDS to shop for good:

shop around for item, in the same time we actually plasy a fool haha^^. done with buying item; at the evening we got hungry decided to head down to the DUCK RICE store to have our early dinner. it was great, after everything head down to TECK WHYE; settle down at my mom place to get the work down. snab photo randomly:

had a great fellowship also. interesting 1; didn't expect i will fellowship with the west people.

life is really unpredictable and unexpecteable.

< >

no! my heart still not change; my brain always tell myself to love her. so i still love her; it just will never change.

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last time memory and dairy is stored in a photo album and a written word behind of it.

2011-08-29T09:59:00.001-07:00

Monday, August 29, 2011

today i woke up at 10AM+, woke up with a shock, thinking: i over slept and gonna be late for school. suddenly text a message to my class mate for info.

it seems to be holiday today!; but there's still worry in my heart wonder; isn't MR RAJA told me about coming back to class on monday? and today is monday. i should report to him right. i thinking of calling him, but i don't have his contact number; so i decided to asking my classmate for RAJA number.

classmate replied:"today RAJA on COURSE la, that's why no class". so i ended up confuse with worry. huh? will i be in deep shit?

there's nothing i can do. today will be staying at home the whole day, gonna get something to do.

i was sitting using my MAC BOOK PRO to play DIABLO 2; i played it yesterday with my bro link with him; using GARENA. GARENA is a superb software for local area.

but i cannot be using computer the whole day; i should get a life or something.

somthing came to my mind; oh yeah! i can start blogging: but wonder what to blog it's too early to blog, if not there won't be any topic to type about.

i suddenly thinking if my dad were to blog about his child hood till now, how would it gonna look like? although that's impossible.

only thing i can do is open up all his memory that stored in his container; countless of photos; from his child hood, teen, young adult, married till im borned.

his childhood is really very happening compared to now the new era; i realize something. this new generation and my generation; we are all really dumb + weak.

my dad time is where fun and game is not about sitting on the chair and table with computer games.

his child hood is always out door, those day where he and his friend go for hunting steal chicken and cook. they fight together, play together, climb rock and tree together. those days majority of the man can do jump flip from the rock to the grass.

but now this era people just simply do a back flip; they will end up pausing and scared + not be able to do it.

i was wondering why do my dad so versitile? when his car break down; he know how to fix it. the house water heater burned up and break down; he simply open it up and fix it. the washing machine spoild; he just screw open the hole metal plate out and fix the the washing machine. my house cloth iron break down; he open up the iron using a copper wire to coil around something and it beable to work again.

i remember my house got 1 sink for brush teeth and wash hand; i use it to washing my leg instead. suddenly my leg accidentaly step on the sink and the whole sink loose out from the wall and break. my dad scolded me, with a drill on his hand drilling a screw into the wall for the metal hook of the sink; lifting up the sink and fix it back on the wall. suddenly saw him took a silicon from his tool and glue the coner up.

i was wondering how is he that prepared, he got no certificate. he's speciallize in machinery. i realize that im kind of useless.

show u the photo of my great grand father; which is my dad grand father:

i garentee everyone in this picture is dead. im thinking which is my great grand father. i heard stroy about him. he's a rich carpenter.

during the JAPANESE occupation time; my great grand father is the carpenter for the JAPANESE; his project and work brought lots of money to his family. the whole large sum of money is enough to buy a land and invest gold. but the foolish thing is he did not do so. he end up saving lots of money and stored in alot of box.

during the automic bomb time japan surrender; those money can no longer be use, my great grand father ended up going crazy; he commited suicide. what a waste, if not i could have be a rich man. all his fucknig fault, im now as good as poor.

my great grand father got a skill to make wooden wine container and box with any nail or screw. he don't even use glue to glue them together.

his hands on pass on to my grand father, my grand father is a carpenter too. his skill is not like my great grand father. things that pass on to generation is deproved.

now i think should not share too muc habout it. yeah back to my father story. those days there's no facebook, no blogspot, no twitter, no google or even hand phone.

photo is not stored up in software or any drive. but instead is washed out from film, there's no such things as tagging photo, email photo or bluetooth photo.

there's lots of photo which impossible for me to upload it here.

those days where every photo that they take they wanna send to their friend they were need to wash it out extra and mail it to the mail box. where the photo in the mail will be send to the friend. all it takes is time and patient.

those days where they wanna meet their friend or even girl friend; they were have to set a time and place. they cannot be late; they must be early in advance. when u lost; there's no such thing as sms:"where are you ?" or even call.

those people in the pass are really patient. compared to now we are really impatient and slightly dummer. especially me haha^^ damn it!

now photo here, sorry for the bad quality. it blur not because of the photo, is my phone camera never take properly. the photo graph quality is great:

thats my mom. those are just some photos.
that's my dad, when he was young.

that's my mom sister marry in thailand, they mail a photo over to keep contact.

that's the conainer with lots of album.

this is where i still young:

that's my sibling and me, when we were all young.

time flys real fast, my parent had their child hood differently.

that's like my dad blogspot. now album is all saved in the internet, facebook and even blogspot.

oh ya today suppose to be studying; gone case!

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by the way good thing i head down to CCK on the correct timing; my mom sick, she catch a cold shivering. i take her temperature 38.6: i think she fever sia. so i ask her lets take taxi to the hospital; she don't want. then what can i do? only thing i can do is pray.

quickly i rush down to 7eleven to buy PANADOL flu and cold remedy and PI PA GAO. quickly i mix the cold remedy with hot water stir it up into a drink. use a spoon of PI PA GAO feet her and let her drink down the remedy. later on she get better. thank god sia; asked my group member to pray for her.

at 1st i look in the cabinet for medicine; see what my uncle got. in the end see alot of medicine definitly none of it is for cold or fever. all is for stomach and abs.

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another day of fellowship; carry on the day with no sleep.

2011-08-28T09:51:00.001-07:00

Sunday, August 28, 2011

today is some how great day; but i haven't sleep from yesterday till now. 2PM head down to cuppage plaza for the hope kid event thinging. JABEZ ex sherperd need help; so she ask me to sign up to help.

that KIRBY is a big fat liar; from now on i don't think i will ever trust him ever again. he said he on his way down to cuppage plaza; ended up i wait till everything over. he still did not show up and did not get back to me. hmm that will be my last time trusting him; no more i put an end to trusting him.

by the way today hanged out with friend; JABEZ, EUGENE and CHIN HOE. they also register for the help out. after everything actually had our lunce at PONTIAN WANTON SHOP @ LEVEL 1 CUPPAGE PLAZA.

after that: we head down to CITY HALL MARINA SQUARE area to fellowship.

shopped around saw random stuff:

super duper cute GUINEE PIG; look really like a pig. it hairless; PEH HO! GUINEE PIG.

another random weird photo:

i know i look really retard. we shop for food for the fellowship; it some how like a picnic.

shop for BEST FRIES, JCO DONUT, WATER and ETC. we chill at the top part of MARINA SQUARE area; open air area.

took photo randomly; store some memory. atleast this time round i manage to fellowship with some west people; yesterday i fellowship with CENTRAL and EAST people. really different thing; WEST side people i think is much more child like. especially EUEGENE and CHIN HOE.

some is unglam; never mind happy can already. lots of task to do after the meet up; gonna make a mod out figure of an animal.

show you picture of them and the DONUT:

that's from my web cam.

that's the only photo taken today hmm..!! kind of a interesting day; seems so unexpected.

i still so pissed of by the yesterday BLACKSHOT; screw those round and the damn luck. bomb by granede non stop; out of the entire map to land at. it just wanna land it at me. screw the game seriously.

the opponent throw the granede blindly but it just always hit me by chance; my luck cannot make it.

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i think that's all for today gonna have a good sleep; d-_-b..zzZZ!

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pathetic of me!

2011-08-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

Saturday, August 27, 2011

just another day; no cannot my heart just pumb so fast. her present attract my heart; where i can't bare with it. only thing i can do is run away lor. my heart is deeply tattooed with her name; it's impossible to remove. if remove off her name i'll be dead.

today service LIYAN the preacher; her voice pitch too high, i tak boleh tahan; ear drum damn pain sia.

i decided not to listen to her preaching; she sing only, i started goose bum . for a reason i don't bother listen to her preaching; she got nothing better to share then bragging about her self. instead of listening i decided to keep my self busy; drawing something endless:

the reason why i draw something endless; it's because i cannot have nothing to do. my eye will automatic got magnetize to the seat ahead; my brain work really automatically to look at my everything when ever she's around. she too cute to the extend where i cannot look away. so i decided to draw some endless thing.

i look ahead what i see is her back view: my hand suppose to draw something endless and random. but ended up my brain trigger my hand to sketch automatically; nearly out her back view. quickly i scribble over with pen and pencil to divert the topic if not i will end up being an idiot; drawing some cute stuff instead of listening to the sermon.

manage to cover up till it's not obvious is her back view. instead of cute stuff; i draw cool stuff. the 5 mighty WARRIORS gun slinger.

they are surrounded by zombies; it's countless of it. massively spraying and killing all of it with their bullets.

it was like PHEW.....! why like that? , why is she too attractive? ok gonna change the topic about those stuff.

hmm..! actually today i was very bored; no 1 wanna fellowship with me. only some of a loyale 1 like: KIRBY and OLIVER. their the 1 who there's talk to me. other then that is my MAC BOOK PRO; it's not even a human or even a soul.

i thought god created the church to fellowship and build bonding?; it don't seems to be.

i love spending time with my fellow ITE group member; but they just won't really bother doing so. ended up their among them self left me behind; make me become so patheticly lone ranger.

no that cannot be i must think of and ideal and solution to make them fellowship with me: something come to my mind. hmm...! ; look like MATTHEW XIANG WEI like PLAY NATION; so i decided to go play xbox with him and the rest. who was there is: the LOYALE KIRBY, ACE KHOO, NIGEL CHIA, YAO MING, JAMES and MATTHEW.

yeah glad did fellowship. played till late; everyone go home left with KIRBY, JAMES and ME. so the fellowship cannot end there; decided to head down to YISHUN to play lan, with the rest of them.

through the DOTA and BLACK SHOT; i did communicate with them haha^^. so now atleast got fellowship. long hour of fellowship.

it's good.

oh yeah by the way today election time; hmm!! all the president all got TAN. think about it i think because TAN is a very capable person. i got a friend name of TAN WOON JHONG; he's just very capable and talented in various thing.

i think it's a good choice of letting all of it be TAN. loyal type of people it is.

LKY is really a asia miracle; without him. i will end up living in the 3rd world country; but he make me living in the 1st world country now.

inspiration comes and education comes to me; that's where i got an ideal of drawing the MARINA BAY sand. GOD appoint LKY to be the head; means i must obey. no 1 can question why; because the action is already there to be seen.

oh yeah; sad case. i didn't receive the election card; because during the general election. i did not elect; the problem is they never give me the election card how can i elect sia? i didn't even know it's a offence.

why things seems to be like trying to sabo me sia? i really very disappointed in this life.

my bursary gone, and this shit happen. im now confuse.

hmm display the different contrast:

that's the 3 contrast. and a:

zoom in; i try to draw it as detail as possible; but cannot make it. this is the worst drawing i got; im freaking disappointed.

my hand really tired.

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