i started to understand all the lost people. im some how close to their shoe.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
i wanna learn bag pipes:
celtic bagpipes is so cool. i been looking for instrument sound similar to the harmonica, because i looking for inspiration song that can play on harmonica. but bagpipes sound real cool when comes to symphonic music. i wanna apply it to my harmonica.
time passes by, something i felt so freaking left out. those people out there is different era from me, where clinging out with them makes me feel like an alien.
topic is getting different, some time talking to people can be like talking to the wall. i don't know how long am i gonna take it, i cant live this type of life for any longer, i definitely need to search for some proper person to hang with.
i realize everything after i step into a club @ paradiz, i see all my own era badge of people. i felt real home like some one i can belong to. feel the music blasting and see lot of firmilier faces from my secondary school. it drop me a message; they are just like me. with smoke filling up the air; it just tell me this is where i belong.
my era people drink and party, while im clinking around trying to get topic and talk to people around my group; ended up im as good as talking to the wall. staying at 1 corner keeping my self entertain by keep drawing continuously to the extend my eye blured off. soon i gonna take a step to get out of those shit. there's lots of way i gonna do it.
god ask me to be wise, so i really have to be real wise making my path way out of this outcasting life. it not gonna give me any good. i wanna obey his command, i still will love my group but i have to go back to my era soon. staying around is pointless for me, because im not needed at all. im just a wonderer, feeling no sense of belonging.
some time i even wonder why am i me, why am i treated like that? sometime i even think am i a benefitial person among or just there as a loud speaker? pointless any way i gonna be out for good.
i still wanna thank a few loyal friend who really appreciate me, but im some how pulling him back. i shouldn't be around any more. my time is up. after throwing all those text i come to an conclusion; people will think im an idiot. that doesn't help at all.
sometime come to an conclusion; i realize im such an attention seeker. fuck that! i live such life where i do idiotic stuff and speak idiotic words. im still some how thankful i manage to draw people attention and did not go too extreme. think about it some how there's people who i know also an attention seeker like i do; but i felt really sorry for them they failed.
to the extend where they are so out cast, ended up making a bigger fool out of them self. i partly understand how they feel; but i wonder how the hell they get to this extend of foolishness. i feel for them. no way i can help them; because im mend to be not needed remember?
fuck them, fuck my group, fuck my surrounding, fuck him, fuck her, fuck this world, fuck his mom, fuck my too, fuck my life, fuck my lost ic (make me tough time entering the club!) fuck my school, fuck those plan, fuck my past, fuck my present, fuck my broken heartness, fuck those call, fuck the TV channel, fuck failure, fuck his mom!, fuck his dad, fuck my too, fuck those begger in the street, before i die look i gonna raise the bigger middle finger up to all.
look i didn't really think while typing those, i know that.
discouragement drive me this way, i don't think anyone encouragement work this time round. it gonna be real bullshit.
< >
things can get so bastard where we can only blame ourself.
my bro shared to me something about; a friend of his having LG at his house. he cook lots of food and meal for his group member. they where having their LG and food in the same time.
to the extend where, none of the LG member can finish the food; ended up there's lots of remainder food left like a wastage.
he was real sad and understandable in people limit of eating.
the moment the LG ended his LG member left his house, the moment of night later he login into his face book; seeing all his LG member photo album on eating at a buffet restaurant happily snapping photo together with the restaurant food instead of the food he made.
he think about the wastage he got at home, isn't it discouraging? this time. this it self is like a warning for me. see how that morron lost his pride so badly. how cruel the LG member can be. that's why the "F" word can be use.
this is not a testing, this is the breaking of people heart and life. there;s lots of fucked up things i see.
.............................................................................................
i wanna learn bag pipes:
celtic bagpipes is so cool. i been looking for instrument sound similar to the harmonica, because i looking for inspiration song that can play on harmonica. but bagpipes sound real cool when comes to symphonic music. i wanna apply it to my harmonica.
time passes by, something i felt so freaking left out. those people out there is different era from me, where clinging out with them makes me feel like an alien.
topic is getting different, some time talking to people can be like talking to the wall. i don't know how long am i gonna take it, i cant live this type of life for any longer, i definitely need to search for some proper person to hang with.
i realize everything after i step into a club @ paradiz, i see all my own era badge of people. i felt real home like some one i can belong to. feel the music blasting and see lot of firmilier faces from my secondary school. it drop me a message; they are just like me. with smoke filling up the air; it just tell me this is where i belong.
my era people drink and party, while im clinking around trying to get topic and talk to people around my group; ended up im as good as talking to the wall. staying at 1 corner keeping my self entertain by keep drawing continuously to the extend my eye blured off. soon i gonna take a step to get out of those shit. there's lots of way i gonna do it.
god ask me to be wise, so i really have to be real wise making my path way out of this outcasting life. it not gonna give me any good. i wanna obey his command, i still will love my group but i have to go back to my era soon. staying around is pointless for me, because im not needed at all. im just a wonderer, feeling no sense of belonging.
some time i even wonder why am i me, why am i treated like that? sometime i even think am i a benefitial person among or just there as a loud speaker? pointless any way i gonna be out for good.
i still wanna thank a few loyal friend who really appreciate me, but im some how pulling him back. i shouldn't be around any more. my time is up. after throwing all those text i come to an conclusion; people will think im an idiot. that doesn't help at all.
sometime come to an conclusion; i realize im such an attention seeker. fuck that! i live such life where i do idiotic stuff and speak idiotic words. im still some how thankful i manage to draw people attention and did not go too extreme. think about it some how there's people who i know also an attention seeker like i do; but i felt really sorry for them they failed.
to the extend where they are so out cast, ended up making a bigger fool out of them self. i partly understand how they feel; but i wonder how the hell they get to this extend of foolishness. i feel for them. no way i can help them; because im mend to be not needed remember?
fuck them, fuck my group, fuck my surrounding, fuck him, fuck her, fuck this world, fuck his mom, fuck my too, fuck my life, fuck my lost ic (make me tough time entering the club!) fuck my school, fuck those plan, fuck my past, fuck my present, fuck my broken heartness, fuck those call, fuck the TV channel, fuck failure, fuck his mom!, fuck his dad, fuck my too, fuck those begger in the street, before i die look i gonna raise the bigger middle finger up to all.
look i didn't really think while typing those, i know that.
discouragement drive me this way, i don't think anyone encouragement work this time round. it gonna be real bullshit.
< >
things can get so bastard where we can only blame ourself.
my bro shared to me something about; a friend of his having LG at his house. he cook lots of food and meal for his group member. they where having their LG and food in the same time.
to the extend where, none of the LG member can finish the food; ended up there's lots of remainder food left like a wastage.
he was real sad and understandable in people limit of eating.
the moment the LG ended his LG member left his house, the moment of night later he login into his face book; seeing all his LG member photo album on eating at a buffet restaurant happily snapping photo together with the restaurant food instead of the food he made.
he think about the wastage he got at home, isn't it discouraging? this time. this it self is like a warning for me. see how that morron lost his pride so badly. how cruel the LG member can be. that's why the "F" word can be use.
this is not a testing, this is the breaking of people heart and life. there;s lots of fucked up things i see.
.............................................................................................
posted by paul at
9:41 PM
0 Comments
