is this a test? why things so screwed up.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
i post this on monday AUG 15. which is the next morning.
had a great night hanging out with my ex sherperd; MR STANLEY LUM. for a drink; he's such a steady guy. he's just always there when i need companion.
had 2 pint of HOEGARDERN beer. awesome things.
i was so drunk till my mind go so reckless, where i give in to weird text message wildly. i didnt get into this type of situation before; now im going through it now. it's just to shameful for me. where i feel like i lost everything. what next?
shame and guilt filled me up; where im so drown right now. now this situation seems to be in a way that i rather die. im cursed, damn it.
i brought on this curse apond my self, i live a life terribly; now friendship are ruined. i became so ungodly as good as a pagans.
now the problem here is i hate my self i wanting to kill my self, but the fact is this body does not belong to me; i'll be as good as murdering.
now i don't know how to live my life, fuck those shit seriously! it caused me to tears like a gay. no! fuck shit i crying damn it! how am i gonna face the world.
i screwed up idioticly.
hope things will go fine, but some how it seems to me where things will go fine if im dead.
i read apond the book for PSALM 119, it prompt me to pray it out as a pledge of prayer. it doesn't really help me. i will have to sort things out.
things cannot just pause there, it will be an awful memory, it suppose get through.
im respond to things so gayly i cant believe that.
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